Is this normal?

[nessy]

My child has ADHD. Just recently, I think I too have it. Reason it took so long to see was Bc she’s Combined and I’m Inattentive, so our signs/symptoms didn’t look alike.

My question is, are you an ADHD mom who’s irritability/anger is being constantly triggered by your child’s ADHD?? Or am I just a special kind of mess??

[kittynoodlesoup]

Waving my hand high here–when my son gets going, I fall right in to the chaos. I hold out for as long as I can, and try to keep it together, but man. It’s intense. And I feel constantly triggered–over stimulated, over whelmed, fight or flight — It’s like I can’t breathe deep enough to bring myself back down.

[nessy]

I’m relieved to know I’m not alone. Over-stimulated, overwhelmed- constant fight or flight… that’s my life right now.

[Penny Williams]

Here are some insights and recommendations for parents who also have ADHD:

What to Do When SuperMom Has ADHD

When Mom or Dad Has ADHD

Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

[nessy]

Thanks for these. I stumbled across them both before asking. But I couldn’t really glean much as we are a military family, and I’m a stay at home mom who is beginning to homeschool. We also just moved a couple of months ago and had our third baby this Feb. I think with each child Life got progressively harder but with #3, I think I’ve hit the wall with the demand being more than I can compensate for. All that to say, some of these tips weren’t very practical, unfortunately. It’s ok though, I have a doc appt for myself next week and soon I’ll be trying to seek fuller treatment for my oldest and middle.

[adhdmd]

I have the same issues. My kid has ADHD combined, too. I am pretty sure that I have the hyperactive ADHD and my husband has the inattentive. (I was never officially diagnosed, but my family says that our children are “active” and busy and can’t sit still and that it is normal behavior for most of the kids in our family.) I’ve found ways to cope, but that means, often, having a quiet and orderly house, which is impossible with more than one person living in a house.

I constantly have to remind myself that my kid is not doing this on purpose and I do a lot of walking away. I also realize that I have less patience when I am stressed, tired, or both.

[nessy]

Quiet and orderly!! Yeeessss! Would you describe your agitation when the house is a mess as it being too ‘loud’? Also, stressed, tired and hungry. I feel you on that one. Are these effects of ADHD or personality issues? I think right now it’s just really easy to feel like I’m exaggerating these issues and really I just have character flaws.

[KingMommy_DMV]

I think these may be sensory-related. Classic ADHD. If you and/or kids are very tactile – and acutely sensitive to tastes, sounds, lights, textures, aversions to wearing certain clothes (3/4 length sleeves are a big no-no, among many other types of uncomfy wear, for me) as well as emotional sensitivites – general sensory overload. Totally common with ADHD. You know you have ADHD when you’ve lost your last gel-pen and would rather pay a late fee than use a ball point to cut a check, not that I write checks but you get the idea;P

[KingMommy_DMV]

Yes! It is highly heritable and highly common. I highly recommend Kirk Martin of CelebrateCalm. He speaks to these issues of parenting a child with ADHD when you also have ADHD. Also subscribe to Jessica McCabe’s channel “How To ADHD” on YouTube and watch together with your kid – probably best suited for 8/9 year olds and up to to increase likelihood they’ll show interest. To my knowledge she doesn’t have kids yet but she is at an age where both kid and adult can relate equally and she is funny. Good for bonding with your child and she has specific topics including relationships – what this all really boils down to.

[Goolier]

I can totally relate! My son hasn’t been fully diagnosed yet (just waiting on the official diagnosis from the psychologist but we are pretty sure he’s ADHD mixed with ODD and possibly some ASD. The paediatrician asked if I had every been tested for ADHD and I said “Me? No! I have anxiety.” Turns out I tick a lot of the boxes in the questionnaire he gave me. I am often anxious around my son when he’s being extra hyper and when he is repeating words or phrases over and over, my irritability goes through the roof! I think I will take a look at those articles above. I’m from Australia btw – where are you all from?

[KingMommy_DMV]

Anxiety is common “comorbid” disorder with ADHD. As I write this, my daughter is downstairs playing hot cross buns on a recorder (not sure if it’s called the same in AU) but I’m about to hit the roof. It might as well be right in my ear. My jaw is clenched but I’ve had to make conscious efforts (god it’s painful) to control my impulse to interfere with her creativity. Anyway, I’m in the US near Washington DC. Where in AU are you? Incidentally, I’m addicted to Australian shows including but not limited to Offspring – my partner was actually born in Fitzroy but spent most of his life in UK and US. Also, one of my best friends is in Sydney.

[Author]

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