Is this fair?

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    • #66986
      SFBL
      Participant

      My daughter has been diagnosed with severely debilitating ADHD (inattentive). She is in high school and on Wednesdays her class is allowed to sign out and go to lunch and then sign back in. Today my daughter forgot to sign back in and hurried back to the sign in sheet, in her fluster she signed in the person above her instead of herself. Since she did not sign in properly she cannot go out to lunch next week. The dean of the school said that is the standard punishment for everyone. Had my daughter needed glasses to see and not had them & signed in on the wrong spot would she have had the same treatment?

      Maybe I’m off base but I just feel like this girl works so hard, could someone just cut her some slack?

    • #67111
      mschweik
      Participant

      Yes it is fair. Well it isn’t,but neither is life .Add or not she has to deal with it. She’s 17 next year at 18 she’s an adult. The world doesn’t know or care if she has ADD, ADHD whatever. Her future boss isn’t going to make accommodations and modifications for her at the office. If she forgets or signs in wrong place at a job do you think they’re going to care if she has ADD? No if she messes up enough she’ll get fired Add or not.

    • #67112
      mschweik
      Participant

      It may sound harsh buy these kids have to grow up. They shouldn’t expect everyone to change for them. They have to change for everyone else. The proble is the school system caters kids especially kids with special needs. Consequently they NEVER develop any coping skills, can’t deal with failure or rejection. Also many kids in special education either develop a learned helplessness or passivity towards trying to do things on their own or have a false perception that they are better at something than they really ar3.

      • #67206
        laleatawestbrook
        Participant

        I think maybe you should consider doing more research.

    • #67207
      Pump2Duncan
      Participant

      I agree in part and disagree in part to the responses. The punishment for signing on the wrong line seems excessive for a first offense; however, if it happened to my kid I would probably be frustrated but wouldn’t make this a battle with the school. I could see how the school might have some safety or truancy concerns if a student doesn’t come back from an open campus lunch that might have prompted the strict punishment.

      But the idea that children in special education classes are somehow catered to and are helpless or passive has been far from my experience. While I do insist on certain accommodations made for my son, those accommodations are meant to teach him coping strategies and are techniques he can use when he gets a job. Would you be immediately fired for making a mistake ONE time – more than likely no. If a single minor mistake would get someone fired, I believe I would have been fired numerous times by now.

      The accommodations in absolutely NO way make my son have a false perception that he is better than he is. In his earlier education years, his accommodations were much more vast but still gave him no sense of false entitlement. They did however give him tools he needed to succeed and as he grew and learned, those accommodations were lessened. Now in 6th grade my son has moved to the most advanced class the school offers for his grade. This was absolutely NOT because of the accommodations he receives but because of his hard work. He has to work harder in EVERY single class than other students, managing his symptoms and deploying his coping strategies.

      While I think it is ever parent’s goal to raise productive members of society, saying that somehow being in special education makes a child passive or helpless is an absolute disservice to the parent and to the child. And I absolutely understand the original posters frustration. You watch your child work their butt off every.single.day and then get busted for a minor mistake and you wish that someone just cut them a little slack. I think we can all relate to that feeling.

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