irritably and jealousy

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Adults irritably and jealousy

Viewing 2 reply threads
  • Author
    • #110747

      I’m a 36 year old female. Inattentive ADHD, not hyper, normally a bubbly personality when I don’t have low energy and low self esteem. Stimulants have helped me throughout the years Adderall or Vyvanse. Gives me the boost of energy, focus, boost of confidence when I’m lethargic.
      But I also get irritable/ mood swings. My fianc√© is very outgoing full of confidence (one of the things I love about him), but at times it makes me stupid jealous and really irritable. I know it sounds stupid and it’s not his fault. But I makes me so mad that I get jealous and irritable over something so dumb.
      My hormones have been check so we (doc) know it’s associated with the ADHD. I (we) just haven’t figured out if it’s from the Adderall XR (10mg) crash, if it’s not strong enough. Or if something needs to be added or changed. I hate changing medications over and over again, I’ve done that most of my life.
      Does anyone else deal with the irritably and what do you do to calm it, any supplements or medication without feeling drugged.

    • #110763

      Hi addgrl,

      I can totally relate. I’m super irritable. And I have a history of jealousy, I am ashamed to admit.

      I was like this before any meds (I don’t currently take meds because I was recently diagnosed so my doctors and I are trying to figure it all out right now. I tried low dose methylphenidate immediate release, and they helped, but only if I took up to 15 mg every 3-4 hours). The crash does suck.

      Were like this before you took the stimulants? Or have you just gotten worse recently since you started taking the meds?

      What I have done over the years that works for me (and this isn’t easy, I’m just going to admit this right now), is that I kind of “shut down.” What I mean is, once I feel those strong, negative emotions overtaking me, I kind of just stare straight ahead, make everything fade away into the background, go into “brain fog” so that I don’t register anything anymore, and I tell people to leave me alone while I ride it all out. Sometimes I have to shut myself out from the rest of the world so I can try to relax, do something that interests me, write in my journal, listen to music loudly.

      My husband, when I first started doing this with him because I was tired of feeling so jealous and hurt for the littlest things, found it really bizarre at first. He’s all about talking through things right away. I need a good hour or two before I get there. To others, I look childish and spiteful, but this is how I cope. I HATE those strong negative emotions. They make me feel so bad and they ruin my mood for the entire day. When I do that, I calm down more quickly than I normally would, and I stop myself from saying really horrible and hurtful things that I regret later.

      I don’t know if that’s something you want, or could, try. But I find that it does help to just try to dissociate almost completely from the the environment. Those negative feelings really suck, I feel for you. I hope your doctor helps you figure this out really soon.

      • This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by jlb83.
    • #110783

      From a male perspective, I was diagnosed at 50, so no treatment until then. Now that I have a better understanding of inattentive ADD, I too have difficulty with irratability in scenarios where I feel almost like an outsider due to having inadequate levels of energy and / or self-esteem. When this happens, I tend to shut-down and stay in the background – which is part of the self-esteem thing. I’ve learned that although I don’t like moving to the background, it does prevent negative interactions with loved ones and friends. The bad part is I often times avoid social settings because of this, which I’m finding is fairly common amongst inattentive ADD’ers. My understanding is that having adequate levels of dopemine and seratonin are the keys to self-esteem and having an even-keel temprement. Achieving that neuro-chemical balance in a person who doesn’t naturally produce those chemicals in the right proportions is vexing at best. Adderal for me has helped quite a lot, so I’m thankful for that, but it does wear off. At this point, if I take anything after noon, then I can’t sleep, so its a double-edged sword going into the later parts of the day. I’m starting to try natural supplements in the PM to try and gain a better solution, but no real good results as yet.

Viewing 2 reply threads

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.