June 17, 2018 at 12:52 am #86552
I was diagnosed with the inattenyive subtype of AdHD a few years ago when I was suddenly incapable of doing school work. Till then, I did okay, but the classes got harder and I was having a hard time in my personal life.
My doctor doesn’t really talk too much to me about the condition. He kind of just throws prescriptions at me and then I leave. The medication helps, but it wasn’t until today that I realized there are a lot of issues I have that the ADD is probably responsible for.
Specifically, I have constant anxiety and I’m often depressed because most of the things I try to do never turn out right, including relationships. Also, I seem to attract really toxic manipulative people like flies, which also is really detrimental because my emotions seem overwhelming compared to other people. So, if someone like this is in my life and they push the right buttons or stab me in the back, it often sends me into a spiral of anger and depression. It doesn’t help that I seem to be way to forgiving and pathologically loyal.
A couple of these “toxic” people, who are particularly unstable, have been stalking me for about a year now after I decided to cut ties with them. It’s been hell. So, I guess I’m just looking for the advice/experience of other people who have to deal with this stuff. I feel like if I could manage my emotions better and build up my self-esteem then I wouldn’t like such a juicy target to all these creeps. That’s important because I was looking back on my life and there seems to be a pattern subversive two-faced pricks that have all done a considerable amount of damage to my well-being.
June 17, 2018 at 1:33 am #86554
I became interested in your post because I was also diagnosed with inattentive ADHD almost one year after attending a student health appointment for anxiety. Now it has been a rocky road, but I continued to educate myself on the ADHD self and how to utilize coping strategies that take the edge off of some of that emotional dysregulation that is felt sometimes by the ADHD brain. I recommend reading the book, “Scattered” by Gabor Mate. It was very informative in explaining or justifying any nuisances in my childhood leading into adulthood.
June 17, 2018 at 9:44 am #86559
I’m a prolific people pleaser, I have a really hard time disagreeing with anyone unless I know them really, really well. By contrast, in writing (i.e., online), I almost always disagree with everyone by default. This has caused me to have some pretty awful “friends.” Over the years, I’ve learned to be very selective with friends. That basically means I’ve become a loner. Which I’ve discovered I prefer due to the amount of alone time I need. But that also means that the friends I do have are high quality.
Now, you may have higher social needs than me, so this post might be meaningless to you. But, it’s worth asking yourself if you let people in your life because of a pre-conceived notion that you’re obligated to, or whether it’s out of a genuine want/need to connect with that person (or people in general). You may find that the real problem is that you’re not getting enough alone time, or that you simply don’t like to tell a person they just aren’t a fit for you.
Point blank, being selective about relationships means you have to be willing to wait it out, sometimes alone.
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