September 4, 2018 at 5:17 pm #98223
Hi, my name is Gavin and i’m from the UK. I am currently on the 12 month adhd assessment waiting list, although i’m still undiagnosed i’m almost 100% certain i have adhd inattentive type, but i could really use some input from you guys as to weather or not you think the same.
At school i struggled to focus in class or retain any of the information i was supposed to be learning, i would spend most of my time being distracted, sometimes by external distraction but mainly distracted by my mind uncontrollably wandering, a symptom i still have to this day, i’m 39 years old btw. In my school reports i’d get things like “struggles to concentrate”, “easily distracted” and “needs to try harder”.
At work i find it almost impossible to keep my mind on track, constantly forgetting things, weather it’s having to go back and forth to our work van because there’s always another tool i forgot to pick up to get the job done, or being told the location/nature of our next job the day before we do it, then that morning having completely no idea what job we or doing or where we are doing it until i’m reminded. I find it impossible to follow spoken instructions unless they only involve one maybe two steps. I zone out constantly when being spoken to and i generally always seem to approach things back to front. I get in lots of arguments with my work mate (who is also my brother) because of the way i am at work as he just thinks i don’t care about anything and don’t listen. I have crashed the van i drive 7-8 times over the last few years, nothing so serious as to where anyone got hurt, but at first my boss would pay to get the dents repaired, then after a while i think he lost interest because i was doing it so much and in the end the van was covered in dents. Ive drove off 3 times with stuff i have put on the roof rack and forgot to tie on, ending up with the stuff flying off the roof, thank god no one ended up hurt as they could of quite easily been. I have caught my hand in the blade of an electric plane on two separate occasions resulting in quite nasty injuries, i’m a walking liability basically, and that is just in my current job lol. My previous job i ended up leaving because of the damage done by my symptoms.
In my private life my symptoms effect me just as bad, the only time i seem to be able to focus on anything is if i’m glued to the internet googling subjects that interest me or playing games, the problem is the focus i get when i’m doing this is so intense i find it almost impossible to snap out of it (i guess this is the hyperfocus adhd’ers are supposed to get) and while i have heard lots of people say that hyperfocus can be a great asset, to me i’d say its the worse aspect of my symptoms while i’m not at work , i don’t just hyperfocus now and then as some might, i’d say i spend 85% of my time outside of work in a perminent state of hyperfocus, i once took an entire week off work and the only time i pulled myself away from my monitor the whole time was to go get food or go to the toilet. Hyperfocus is massively disruptive to my relationship also, my fiancee tells me she feels completely ignored and i don’t blame her as i’m so absorbed in what i’m doing i barely talk to her. Even when i’m not in hyperfocus and she talks to me my mind is usually on something completely different so most of the time i don’t even hear what shes saying, i have told her that i have no control over this but she understandably finds it hard to deal with weather i have control over it or not.
I’m writing this right now because about a month ago my boss decided to replace my old work van with a brand new one and today i managed to completely destroy the wing mirror, i can’t possibly tell him after such a short time and i’m going to have to try and keep it secret and pay for a new one to be fitted myself. I feel so down right now it’s unreal, i fell like my whole life is a constant series of blunders, i honestly believe my best achievement in life is my son, but how can he look up to someone who can’t even do anything right. I’m praying for a diagnosis as i feel like medication is my only option.
So judging on what i have written do you guys think i really have this condition, or should i not jump the gun until a proper diagnosis?
September 5, 2018 at 6:03 am #98243
Hey! Welcome 😊 based on what you’ve described, I’d say you absolutely have it – you basically described me in your story!
Although I’m not a doctor, I’d say yes stick with the path you are on to get diagnosed in the fastest route possible, so that you are finally able to get on some medication that could possibly help ease those terribly overwhelming day-to-day symptoms. I know first hand they are so detrimental to your career, social & personal
Relationships – but most importantly, your relay with yourself! It’s so frustrating and you can start getting more and more down on yourself. I started withdrawing & that behaviour just embarrassed me even more & I became shameful & just worse by the day.
Now that you know that this IS what you’ve got (if you decide to take my word for it lol) please try not to become frustrated & impatient with having to wait for your appointment to get the ball rolling on your treatment…otherwise you’ll just drive yourself crazy!
All you can do is be sure you’ve checked out every resource possible to know that you’re definitely on the fastest track to get treatment.
Do you know anyone else with add? Maybe ask them where & how they began their journey working with the professionals in getting help 😊
Is there any way you can avoid the test? Why can’t you just see a shrink & tell him what’s wrong and then he prescribe you the medication that he thinks would be good to start off with? (Btw, I say that because the first meds you try may not be the right one for you. Keep in mind there are soooo many different types. And you can trial and error with as many as you need for as long as you need – there is no right or wrong amount of time. As long as you eventually find the one that is right for you in the end, 👉🏻 it was all worth it.
You’ll learn SO much about yourself in this time. I’m excited for you. It’s nice to finally have some answers as to why you are who youu are and why you do some of the things you do.
This website has been an absolute godsend for me..honestly. I don’t know anyone else with our condition & I don’t talk to others about my feelings anyway, but at least I know that HERE, on ADDitude – it’s real & serious medical advice and information. There is always new articles and new ideas and so many guides and outlines on how to help yourself in certain situations.
You’ll get stuck in this website’s rabbit hole for hooours and hours, for days upon end (thanks hyperfocus 😒 ugh. You may never rid yourself of that one unfortunately. I’m 31 & was diagnosed 3years ago & haven’t managed to void my life of the relentless hyperfocus monster 😖)
But yeah – at least it’ll be productive, & even after as much as you think you could have gotten through on this website – THERE IS ALWAYS MORE LOL.
It’s a treasure trove of information which I’ve been SO thankful to have found, as I am from Australia and I’m unaware of anything at all like this organisation. ADD isn’t much recognised in our country… I don’t know why.
It was actually really difficult to find a shrink that “specialised” in adult adhd – as most of them don’t want to deal with the condition at all!
As usual I’ve typed so much that I’m way over time (am getting annoyedly nagged at right now as I type this last bit) so I do apologise, but I won’t be able to proofread what I’ve yyped and often my fingers and brains are running at different speeds depending on the time of day 😂 so sometimes I make mistakes! Not so much spelling mistakes, more grammatical or just incorrect (or mixed up ordered) words. Either way- I hope you’ve understood me well enough and that I’ve provided you with a bit of comfort to encourage you to continue on the path you’re on in regards to getting your diagnosis, as well as some confidence in your decision. You ARE doing the right thing…and hey, even if you don’t end up having add – at least you’ll know and be able to rule one more thing out to help continue your journey into finding out what IS wrong..
Actually you should see a doctor anyway to treat the symptoms you can (e.g anxiety & the likes) until you finally get your adhd test and are able to start taking that class of medication.
Omg I really have to go!! 😲 I forgot!!! 🤦🏼♀️🤬
Take care, I hope it all starts working out & becoming clearer.
I’m happy to talk any time 😊
Talk next time, I hope I helped!
Lots of encouragement and warm wishes
Serena, Australia 🇦🇺
September 5, 2018 at 9:59 am #98246
I’m also new to the forum, and those two previous posts make a boatload of sense, but there’s one particular comment that really caught my attention.
You refer to yourself as a ‘liability,’ and this is exactly how I’ve come to see myself. It feels as though there’s no situation that I can’t make worse merely by passing through it. I’m a journalist, now working in communications for a big company, so although I don’t have quite the same potential to injure myself or anyone else, the past twenty years of my work history has been one of accidentally offending people, losing jobs that were well within my capabilities and annoying some people to the edge of reason, so while there was the potential there to ‘make something’ of myself, it’s largely been wasted through a million small, bad decisions and weak impulse control.
The other thing you mention is that you have a fiancee. And I don’t think you credit yourself with what an achievement this is. There’s someone who sees the real you and all the things you have to offer, which is a very fine thing indeed. Like my work history, my personal life is littered with broken relationships, relationships that might have had potential had they ever got started and my present partner who I think despairs of me ever getting myself together sufficiently.
Unlike you, I have a diagnosis. The waiting list at the local hospital is a long one, but I’ve been seen by a senior psychiatrist who told me it’s pretty much what I have so I’m here to do some reading and find out what the implications might be, and what medications are available.
Good luck, and perhaps see you around.
September 7, 2018 at 1:31 pm #98417
The one responder was so very accurate in her response. You have the opportunity to learn so very much about yourself in these next couple of years. You also have the opportunity to just take the drugs they recommend to you and stick your head in the sand, thinking you can now think like everyone else. You will never think like everyone else, but you can fake it better. You have a completely different nervous system that can still be one of your greatest assets, or be your crutch. That choice will be up to you. I have been the stimulants route, and yes they can be helpful. I hope to never be on them again in my life.
I have graduated to mindfulness meditation and what I call brain training, via Dr Andrew Hill, of the Peak Brain Institute. I am not cured yet but he resolved his own ADHD issues utilizing his process.
I have a long way to go but have not been on Adderall since April 2018. Making progress. I also have the very fun tag along of Rejection Sensitivity. That is a gift that keeps on giving. And so far even though we have not targeted that aspect, my ‘sensitivity’ has improved greatly. We all seem to suffer slightly differing issues but I Am gaining ground, on processing and also on accepting that I have choices on how to direct my talents toward almost any situation. Took me 15 years of not being actively involved followed by one year of learning and growing. Wish I had made the effort back then. I was under the impression that Adderall ‘fixed’ me to the level of everyone else. So so very wrong. Dive in. Good luck
September 8, 2018 at 12:47 am #98489
I’m Al, and I was just recently diagnosed with Dyscalculia and ADHD afther 35 years. For years, my family would make jokes about it, or chop up my behavior to being a “hyper kid.” It was a sigh of relief to finally be diagnosed and it was this site that helped me start to explore that possibility.
Thanks for having me,
- This reply was modified 3 months, 1 week ago by HyperKid84.
September 8, 2018 at 1:57 pm #98511
I haven’t properly read all the replies to this but I would say it does sound likely you have it. I got assessed today with probably less severe impacts on life than you have and I got diagnosed with inattentive type. I’m really sorry about the wing mirror incident. Some things can just push you over the edge 🙁 But please be compassionate to yourself, if you have it it’s not your fault and these things happen. And if you got a diagnosis maybe you could get some sort of mitigation at work?
I also live in the UK and because I haven’t even got round to going to the GP yet in the 1 1/2 years I’ve realised I might have adhd, I decided to go private so my life could stop being on hold for an appointment I didn’t even know if the GP would refer me for. I got seen within a month of inquiring and paid 500 quid. I think it’s worth spending my first pay check on even though it’s probably pushed me back into my overdraft. Because realising you have this is like a massive eureka moment that means you can stop beating yourself up so badly about every little thing and start to approach it from a problem solving perspective rather than a self hate and despair perspective. I would say if you can’t wait 12 months, it’s worth looking into a private diagnosis. 12 months seems like a very long time when you’re finding things so difficult.
Please be kind to yourself. *Hugs*
- This reply was modified 3 months, 1 week ago by michellerain2016.
September 12, 2018 at 1:55 pm #99047
“Please be kind to yourself”
– that was a really lovely thing to say 🌹 thank you!! What a beautiful soul you must be ♥️ we don’t say kind things to each other enough these days, and ESPECIALLY not to ourselves – so I think it’s just beautiful that you could put that into words for that person in need.
I hope everyone who reads it takes that away from this thread with them 😊 it’s a gem that helps us all much more than we realise! 💎
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