I'm not sure what's going on with me since my childhood, anyone expert, please

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    • #79929
      Meenenta
      Participant

      Hi there for all, first of all I’m sorry for my bad Engl English, it’s not my first language.
      I want to know if that i have ADHD or not since childhood, i never got the chance to be diagnosed and now I’m stuck in my life and all i do is hiding from everyone for years now, because I’m too anxious and weak to live life . I just want to know what the hell is going on with me , i read about ADHD. Long time ago and i was convinced i have it since childhood . What i remember from my childhood is i was not social at all, i found it very hard to speak to others and have emotions with them, but i was always moving and playing,i was so shy of girls that i can feel myself paralyzed when why girl talks to me، it was so hard for me to focus on classes expect if it was very exotic subject or interesting , which i can kind of keep track of it but also very distracted, i always remember my childhood as sleep walking, never had close relationships or friends there, just people come and go in every stage of my life, and most of the long friendships i have are with people stay in contact with me , not because i want them to stay , because i have no feelings, even if they left i wouldn’t feel bad .
      i was fascinated about extreme sports since childhood like parachute jumping or wanting to climbing mountains. I was so energetic in school but with no social or emotional interaction, i often daydream a lot .
      The only pleasure i got is in gaming since childhood z , but without even being good in gaming, i just loved to stay home and play for Hours and hours with mindless feeling..
      I loved places where not to much people around
      I I feel like i don’t have any feelings at all, i thought I’m psychopath but even psychopaths are intelligent and have will to live, they can connect somehow.
      I never had a girlfriend because of my shyness ..
      I never been organized ,i can’t feel time, I feel it’s worthless to do anything.. i don’t imagine future where I’m exists and living life and having kids.
      I think ADHD made me depressed! If it’s really ADHD in the first place…
      I Tried going to psychotherapist but he told me it’s depression, maybe right, but that’s not the really issue i have. I never go again because I’m too shy and scared that anyone from my community knows.. that I’m not normal, but they surely know that, i disappear from social events, even thought i love to be social. And it hurts me to miss all those events .
      I’m 28 now and i got my bachelor degree after long long years of college because i was never on track..

      Please help me, is this I’m going through is ADHD?

    • #79960
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      Only a clinician can tell you if you have ADHD or not. You can take this self-test to see if you’re on the right track, and print the results and take them to your physician:

      [Self-Test] Could You Have Adult ADHD / ADD?

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Trainer on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #80033
      Meenenta
      Participant

      Ok i went once to a doctor and he told me it’s depression with mild ADHD I don’t trust him because psychiatrists here are not that trained, I’m in a war torn country..
      I got 86% in the ADHD test here, I have every symptom except that I’m not talkative, and i have fear of Talk and socialize ….
      Please any help.. i really need it, I’m getting suicidal thoughts and i got afraid that i got weak someday and do something…..

      • #80041
        Penny Williams
        Keymaster

        Please seek help for your suicidal thoughts. Maybe there’s a suicide hotline in your country listed on this international hotline list: http://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines. Seek out a therapist who can help you.

        ADHD in adults is very often misdiagnosed as depression. Take your self-test results to your general practitioner and ask how to proceed.

        Penny
        ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Trainer on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #80155
      ncwinnz4
      Participant

      You’re not alone. Trust yourself, if you think you’re dealing with something keep searching until you find a doctor or specialist that makes you feel comfortable. I went through the similar challenges finding the “right” doctor. It’s not fun calling doctors and going through the process. I found it exhausting, but it’s worth it.

      Congrats on your BA, I got mine later than my peers to, but that didn’t matter. What mattered is you did it, so be proud of your accomplishment.

      Keep searching!

    • #80157
      Meenenta
      Participant

      Thank you my friend, thank you for the support but you know it’s so hard to get the right doctor, I’m always surrender before I begin anything.. i will try to get help :/
      What about you

    • #80170
      ncwinnz4
      Participant

      It is, but there are good people out there. I have a doctors which is good, but I keep searching hoping I find one who I feel truly’gets me’. The hardest part for me and maybe you is just dialing the number. But we owe it to ourselves.

    • #80173
      Meenenta
      Participant

      That’s right، one must take a step no matter how hard itit is

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