May 13, 2020 at 10:10 am #171745nxover8Participant
I’m not 18 yet but my unnamed, untreated, and downplayed ADHD has been ruining my life for 16 freaking years. My mom thinks it’s a joke. ADHD plays a part in my depressive moods, my weight, my grades, everything. And she thinks it’s a joke. She sees me screaming, fighting, begging, banging pots and pans together, and begging for help and medications and the only advice she has to offer is “go outside more.” I am tired. I am worn out. My mental state is in shambles. I can not, and will not, continue living like this. I have so much I need to accomplish, so many things that I want to do, but the only giant wall that she thinks is a joke is my ADHD that’s been running rampant for 16 years and counting. I do not care what she has to say to me when I turn 18 — I’m getting diagnosed and getting the proper help that I’ve been begging for.
Will anyone be willing to offer advice for getting diagnosed when the time comes? I’m just tired of living in constant defeat and self-hatred.
May 13, 2020 at 11:47 am #171781Penny WilliamsKeymaster
I’m so sorry your mom isn’t open to the idea of ADHD. There is a lot of misinformation about ADHD out there that fuels this.
Here’s a diagnosis guide for when the time comes:
And know you’re doing awesome recognizing that something is off and looking for help and wanting to do better. That’s a huge step in the right direction that many struggle with.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
May 24, 2020 at 1:30 pm #172596chinoParticipant
Got diagnosed at 21. When I was 18 I horsed around with a girl who was aloof (ADD non hyperactive) and told me she couldn’t function without adderall.
After years of being left behind despite my incredible creativity, wit, technical skills, social skills, ambition and drive, being embarrassed, ashamed and stuck in my tracks, experiencing academic failure I was advised to get tested.
Experience helps a bit. You have to understand that you are very different from others and you will have to learn to live your way, find alternative ways around problems. Here’s some advice:
– Request an ADHD test. Your physician should be able to redirect you to a relevant professional.
– Drugs can be a hit or miss. I was prescribed Ritalin IR and am not very pleased with it. I will go to the doctor soon to review other options. Also they are not magic pills. They create problems such as thirst, frequent urination and nausea. They will not magically propel you to success. They are supposed to be an adaptation device. You are fundamentally the same.
– Learn and don’t be embarrassed to ask for help. I could have saved me a lot of trouble if I learned how to do that early on. Stay in touch with those around you. If you go to college call your classmates and ask for step by step instructions and updates to make sure you don’t miss anything.
– Make lists of what you have to do. Sure I may not get all of it done when I had intended but at least it helps me keep track of the things due.
– Get rid of social media. Delete the apps form your phone. Get an adblocker and block youtube suggestions, leaving only the search bar.
– Cut out the sugar. No soda or candy. Drink your coffee without sugar.
– Cooking yourself as an ADHD person is hard. If you eat out, try to go for relatively healthy food. Go to your local deli and get a reasonable sandwich with salad on the side instead of fast food.
Substances and self indulgence
Many ADHD adults self medicate with alcohol, tobacco/nicotine products and caffeine.
– Don’t buy or keep cigarettes on you. You will become a smoker. If you bum a smoke, do it at an interval of multiple days.
– Drink with a couple days in between and don’t binge. A drink or two will do.
– Learn to be frugal. Life is hard for you anyway. Go to 7 eleven for coffee rather than starbucks. Both are garbage, but 7 eleven is cheaper. Stop to think for a second before you buy something.
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