I sleep around.

This topic contains 12 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  hjordisaa 3 months, 1 week ago.

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    Posts
  • #100587

    h22k22-female
    Participant

    Well I used to before I had kids and then my focus changed.
    I’ve had loads of boyfriends, one nighters and flings.
    I’ve been risky with partners and had unprotected sex.
    I don’t really connect love and sex.
    No one knows the full extent of my sexual history as I’ve moved around, friends would be shocked!

    Wow I can’t believe I just said that!
    How liberating!

  • #115847

    Commanda123
    Participant

    I understand!!!!

  • #115904

    KitanasFan
    Participant

    I understand too!

    I only recently received my diagnosis. I’ve realised that a lot of my behaviour over the years can be attributed to ADHD.

    For me it was always about the thrill of the chase, which I can now see is the stimulation my ADHD needed. I liked the conquest, but actually when it came down to it, more often than not the sex wasn’t even that good. I became bored with the same people, and relationships never lasted long, but I would still be incredibly hurt if someone didn’t want me, even if I didn’t really want them.

    There’s a real shame associated with this behaviour when you’re a woman. If we were men, it wouldn’t even be questioned. But as a woman, we’re not supposed to do this, so we feel bad about it.

    I can’t change what I did. But I feel a little better now that I know that actually there was a reason behind it, and my brain was craving something fun and stimulating.

    • #115935

      h22k22-female
      Participant

      The rejection thing!
      I’ve spent time in a mental state of panic and unrest trying to lure and win over a conquest.
      Only to wander again after 6 months.
      There was a long period where I didn’t have a relationship last over 4 weeks.
      I thought there was something wrong with me.
      Haha, there was!
      I watched my friends settle down and wanted to, but it didn’t happen for ages. Not until I broke the cycle.

  • #115927

    Commanda123
    Participant

    That sounds exactly like me!!! I just recently started seeing a therapist and he diagnosed me with depression and anxiety. I guess he knows what he’s talking about. It just feels like that’s not what is wrong.i guess I will just have to wait and see if he’s right.

    • #115932

      KitanasFan
      Participant

      I have anxiety and have bouts of depression which they believe is caused by the ADHD.

      I have recently started CBT and my therapist believes that the phobia I developed in my early twenties, which is the cause of my anxiety and panic attacks, is a coping mechanism for the ADHD and it seems to be particularly bad at times of high stress in my life.

      Have you had an ADHD diagnosis?

  • #115934

    Commanda123
    Participant

    No I have not been diagnosed with ADHD and I could be wrong but I feel like that’s what is wrong. Both my Brothers have been diagnosed with ADD. I just resetly was promoted to a manager position and I’m afraid that I’m going to screw it all up. It’s way more responsibility and no supervision. Its really a great opportunity for me but I just don’t think I can do it. I’m way to disorganized and scatter brained. Sorry I know I kinda went off topic.

    • #115946

      KitanasFan
      Participant

      It sounds like you could possibly have it. I recently was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD. I’ve found the Delivered From Distraction book by Edward M Hallowell a really good read. It also mentions how everyone’s symptoms can differ and sometimes our own even change as well. My Dad definitely has it, and it often runs in families.

      I’ve seen a change in myself since I was younger. I was very impulsive then, whereas I’ve calmed down a lot as I’ve got older. Also, you learn new coping mechanism’s to try and manage and hide what’s really going on.

      My problems and diagnosis came about after an extremely stressful period in my life and also problems at work after being promoted. I’ve never managed to excel at anything, even though people are always telling me how great I am in all the jobs I do, how well I can do them, that I can do them with my eyes closed etc etc but I’ve only ever stayed at entry level, because I was scared of responsibility, and then when I did get more responsibility, I couldn’t cope with it. Also I had some really unfair accusations levelled at me, and staff bullying me too (long story). Usually I get bored of most jobs, and I always put it down to me being creative, but now I know it’s probably a mixture of both and that my creative ADHD brain just cannot stand not having creative stimulation. But then when I have the time to be creative, I can’t motivate myself to do it, and I procrastinate because I’m scared of not being successful. Urgh, it’s all really ridiculous!!!!!! :-/ 🙂

  • #115941

    damnmouse
    Participant

    Yeah, I’ve been here and there sexually, too. I think I’m in the tripple digits as far as individual partners go. I used to think that was because that’s how young gay men get around, but, may also have something to do with my impulse control. 😛

    • #115947

      KitanasFan
      Participant

      That bloody impulse control! 😀

  • #116131

    hjordisaa
    Participant

    I slept around too! And I loved it! I loved my libido and sense of adventure. Now I’m in a monogamous relationship of two years. It’s been an adjustment for me, and at this point I never feel sexy the way I used to. I miss my old self and the fun I used to have. Has anyone else gone through this?

    It’s like it’s super polarized- either sex gets all of my attention or none.

    • #116350

      h22k22-female
      Participant

      Every longish relationship I’ve ever had I kill the sex.
      Totally lose interest, in fact hate it.
      My single days I looked the part and acted the part!
      I’m hoping I can find new ground in this relationship because I don’t want my family to break up. Maybe an affair would help it?! Haha,- that was a joke because it brings heartache but it needs the equivalent.
      What’s the secret?

    • #116353

      hjordisaa
      Participant

      Travel with my boyfriend always helps me keep my libido up. Plus taking videos with him And talking about threesomes. Without those three things… it’d be hard.

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