I NEED help and advise!

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    • #184613
      lilysmommy
      Participant

      First off let me start by saying I am new here, so if I say something out of line I apologize. But at the same time I am relieved that maybe, (besides doctors) I can get some advise.
      My 7 year old daughter was first diagnosed with ADHD in October of 2018, after being in Kindergarten for a month. That is when the long continued rough journey began. Her pediatrician automatically referred us to the first of many psychiatrists. The psychiatrist agreed that yes in fact she had ADHD and mild anxiety, but that she was to young (5) to give a official “anxiety” diagnosis. They first prescribed her to Strattera and another stimulant, and we found out the hard way that she CANNOT take Stimulants. She has been on a stable dose of Guanfacine for about a year. Can I say it works miracles no, but its better than nothing at all. Around the beginning of 2019 is when we started receiving calls daily from the school, stating she would leave the classroom, disrupt the classroom and that we needed to pick her up. This was daily that we needed to pick her up, it got so bad that I needed to switch my job around, because my husband could not and we ended up having to pull her and homeschool her, for fear I was going to lose my job. I also forgot to mention that she did have a “504” in place but was not followed correctly. She has been in behavioral therapy, along with a psychologist.

      January 2020 rolls around and my husband and I notice she is becoming more depressed, and crying a lot because she has no friends and wants to go to school. So we take the necessary steps and provide the psychological evaluation, back to the original school she went to (we couldn’t switch districts, until she was at the original school for a year) I know our county is crazy. Anyway she began Sept. 8 with remote learning and officially went back to in school learning on the 21st. First week was great, she was happy getting good remarks. Then this week happened..AGAIN it feels like Kindergarten already she is leaving the classroom because “she is bored”, not listening to the teacher, visited the principal today about safety and I’m just stressed and upset. Her teacher is amazing this year, she has figit toys, breaks, timers, the kids can either stand or sit, or sit on the ground. I just don’t know what to do..I know it sounds silly but I would like her to have the same Public school experience that every other kid has. Her psychologist mentioned to me that our County is not properly staffed for kids with learning disabilities, because I stated to her prior to school starting that I was afraid old behavior was going to happen. But we tried to stay positive because we did not want to set her up for failure.

      I hope that someone here has been through this (I mean I wouldn’t wish this stress and anxiety on anyone), but some advise. This is my 1 and only child, and my husband and I are just stuck. We have tried EVERYTHING from bribing, taking things away I mean nothing works. I had her tested for ODD, but they stated that no she doesn’t have that, she just has an issue regulating her emotions. I feel like a bad parent with the phone calls and text everyday, I mean I don’t want the teachers to have to babysit my 7 year old daughter. We just need HELP!!! Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

    • #184668
      MelissaADHD70
      Participant

      Hello, and yes I have been where you are and can empathize with the stress and anxiety that you are going through!
      First of all Strateria is not a stimulant and they usually start young ones off on that first! I don’t recommend Ritalin only because it is a fast release and mood swings can come from that.
      What I do reccomend is Concerta, it’s a slow release and will get her through the whole day plus after school for homework or daycare!
      My son was on it and he had no problem. I am on it still !
      Now onto the school part!
      If your daughter is having that much problems in school I will tell you why?
      Teachers were only taught to teach! When a child who has special needs enters their class they have no skills to handle the situation!
      The school board don’t provide enough teachers sides for these children that need special attention in classroom and provide them with a proper education plan suitable to each individual’s needs.
      I’m not sure where you are from but I suggest you have your daughter removed from the regular school system and put into a special school for children that are in the same situation!
      Research this in your area and ask for a meeting with the Principal, teachers etc. and get her the help now!
      You will never see a happier child really!
      Oh,Concerta also helps with anxiety as well so it covers both problems.
      I’m from Canada, Ontario and I wish you all the best!
      Melissa

    • #184743
      lilysmommy
      Participant

      Hello MelissA–thank you for the feedback, I do realize Strattera is a non stimulant I forgot to add Focalin as well. But either way both do not work. And you are right about the school situation, unfortunately in the states (Georgia) to send her to a specialized school is VERY expensive. And because me and my husband (to there standards) make to much money, its hard for us to get assistants. We have a scheduled meeting with the school again next Tuesday, to set up a “504”, not sure if you are familiar with that. They are fighting us on an IEP, so we are starting there first. Its just frustrating to have anxiety everyday, on whether I receive a text, call, email on my Childs behavior (which is DAILY).

      But thank you for reaching out, I appreciate it. All us Mommy and Daddy’s need to stick together, because when everything is said and done we are the #1 best and truly only advocates for our kiddos!

      Take Care,
      Rebecca

    • #184752
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      As long as the school is focused on the behavior and punishing it away, nothing will change. You must look at the root causes of behavior to actually affect the behavior.

      WHY does she wander off?

      WHAT is she doing to “disrupt” the class, and WHY is she doing those things?

      WHY is she “not listening?” What is causing it to look like she’s not listening? (Teachers complained about this about my son but then remarked that he was listening and processing, he just didn’t look attentive and that bothered them.)

      Intention is really important here! She isn’t disrupting the class on purpose. She isn’t putting herself in unsafe situations on purpose. Every child wants to do well and meet expectations. WHY is she not able to?

      I would request a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) from the school. The entire school staff needs a professional to come in and guide them through looking at the causes of these behaviors, and the FBA process does this.

      Could Your Child Benefit from a Functional Behavior Assessment? What to Know

      5 School Assessments Your Child May Be Entitled To

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach, Podcaster & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #184880
      lilysmommy
      Participant

      Thank you so much Penny..I just had a long talk with the principal. She informed me that she doesnt believe that my child has ADHD and that its something else, because my little girl will not sit for longer than 5 minutes at a time doing work before she starts walking away making loud noises or saying she is bored. I am at a loss for words, and feel stuck!

      I am going to mention during our meeting tomorrow about the FBA because all I am hearing is the bad news, everything she is doing wrong nothing positive.

      • #184937
        Penny Williams
        Keymaster

        It sounds like you’re going to have to get a private evaluation for ADHD. Then take those professional results to the school to fight for what she needs in the classroom.

        Penny
        ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach, Podcaster & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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