I love my son but Im not liking him very much right now..

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This topic contains 11 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  caringmom 4 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #76407

    ajsd
    Participant

    Im hoping other parents have had this feeling atleast once in their lives..My 9yo son with ADHD with impulsivity..has grown into what I think is ODD along with it and every day Im getting talked back to with words that only adults would say..or hateful things..but 5 min later he wants to hug his mama and 10 min later he’s slamming a door because I didn’t get him chocolate milk as fast as he wanted..I feel like Im going crazy..we stopped therapy for awhile until our next appointment with a new psychiatrist because I think we need a fresh breath of air..am I wrong for feeling this way..I feel like Im trapped at home because I can’t go out because I have no idea what attitude could come up because he didn’t get his way..I read all this stuff on ODD and the theme of them having a bad or difficult childhood..but my child wasn’t adopted or in the foster system we are middle class..we have a loving family..and his father and I have never been married but we share time with him whenever his Dad wants him so no courts or fighting..Im just baffled and can’t explain how I can get ahold of these issues…Thanks for letting me vent

  • #76416

    leanz
    Participant

    Hello!

    Try diet changes. It helped us a lot
    Especially odd.

    Do not take his behavior personally. These are just symptoms.

    You try meditation and try to keep yourself calm. Taking good care of yourself and doing what you love, resting when needed will help you be more patient.

    Try avoiding a yes/no interaction. Try ‘may be later’ or ‘sure, after studies’ as your answers.

    Put ur foot down and without drama stick to ur yes or no response.

    Hope something from these will help you.

    Take care.

  • #76429

    ADHDmomma
    Keymaster

    Remembering that it’s not a personal attack will help you to stay calm with him, which is absolutely paramount.

    Explosive behavior often comes from lagging skills (like frustration tolerance, flexibility, etc…) and/or feeling like no one truly listens or understands them. Ross Greene is the explosive behavior “guru.” I highly recommend you read his books, The Explosive Child and Raising Human Beings. His approach is life-changing. Here’s an overview of it:

    Time for Plan B? 10 Tips for Dealing with an Explosive Child

    Kids with ADHD are also often very intense.

    Exaggerated Emotions: How and Why ADHD Triggers Intense Feelings

    Penny
    ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #76684

    caringmom
    Participant

    HI ASJD,Please find out behaviour stratergies by professionals or any videos or webinars or blogs.Maybe you can corelate that information withthe problems you are facing now.I dont have link but one webinar of dr. Greens in additude is really good.Good luck.

  • #76745

    I know that my ADHD daughter can aggevate me to thebpoint of not liking her very much 😊 Maybe bc oc of the mother daughter relationship or maybe bc I bc I am ADHA myself but she seems to try me harder than anyone else. She tries to use the ADHA on thigs like forgetting to put her plates up after breakfast. Almost so accepting of the symptons likethe using the symptoms to blame for her bad behavior. She was taking concerta but still wasnt pafocusing so starting tomorrow we will be exploring how vyvanse effects her. After researching this medicine, it seems as though this medicine can make her aggitated. I thought that the m eds were suppose to calm her ragging AD gd

  • #76922

    trish64
    Participant

    I hear you and get you. I often dislike my son’s attitude and how he acts. I love him so much and I think about him a lot. I miss him when he’s at school even. But there are too many days that I can’t stand his behavior. He’s 17 and I tell you at that age it ain’t pretty lol. My advice is to set your rules clearly and firmly. If you say NO, don’t ever cave into changing your mind. If you give him a punishment, stick to it. I wish I’d done that. Because I was too soft and would sometimes change my mind I created a battleground for myself. My son has adhd, odd, and high anxiety. He’s adorable and can be so thoughtful and loving. My parenting is what made him worse though. Not his fault. And definitely don’t let the name calling get to you. It’s their impulsivity. He doesn’t really mean it.

  • #79320

    Katiemum1
    Participant

    Hi there, I totally get where your coming from, I have a 6 year old girl and an almost 4 yearold boy. I am in the process of having my kids assessed for ADHD and I can’t go anywhere without a totally inn appropriate outburst! I mean these outbursts particularly from.my 3 year old are just too much to bear at times. People stare, he swears constantly, throws himself around and just keeps.going that’s when we go downtown to pay bills. I feel like I’m.completely trapped at home by his behaviour. I am feeling isolated and also believe my family don’t want me to visit because of my child’s outbursts honestly it could.all be in my head but this is the feeling I’m getting from them. At home he and his 6 year old sister have broken or got into my things and now I have virtually nothing left like jewelry, ornaments or furniture even. When he has an angry outburst he will kick, bite, punch, knock chairs over and throw things. I’m worried he is.going to.seriously hurt the other children by accident (also have a 14yr old girl). When I put him in his room he kicks the back of the door constantly screaming and will disassemble his bed. He is extremely smart and loving when not chucking tanyrems. I must point out that hewill also get along well with his sisters and he is loving towards me most of the time. He has normal age appropriate behaviors also. I have no.idea what to.do at this poipoint. I’m sick of the suggestion from people that its a lack of discipline when I know its so much more. I discipline him appropriately but he will just keep going. Your not alone its their behaviour you dislike not your child.

  • #80485

    cquinlan3
    Participant

    I have the same issue! My 7 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD a year and a half ago. He has been on Adderall XR that entire time. A few months ago the anger, irritability and aggression have become out of control. He has broken so many things in our house, purposely. He hits, bites, kicks and punches us constantly. He tells us that he wants to kill us. We live in our own personal hell. I know how you feel and I wish I knew and could tell you what to do.

  • #80494

    caringmom
    Participant

    hi Cquinlan,
    Before a few months ago my six and half year old sons behaviour was same like your son…BUT AFTER starting ARIPIPRAZOLE IN very smaller dose along with methylphenidate xr …things are in much better control,though not totally.Though sometimes I WORRY why only single medicine doesnt work for him? But when i tried to stop ARIPIPRAZOLE the same old thing of biting ,kicking,hitting started at the time of wearing off methylphenidate….So here he is again with the combo of both the medicines.Maybe you can discuss this with his doctor..

  • #80495

    caringmom
    Participant

    AND the other thing his developmental paediatrician suggested to take ABA theropy and stop Aripiprazole,,,But his psychiatrist had different opinion he told only ABA will not help he has to take aripiprazole.And one day when he bit me at two different places and to my elder 13 year old son also when we were trying to console him during his melt down over very unreasonable issue.MY elder son started crying,that was the end of my patience.I thought the sibling shouldnt be at least physically hurt .So I FOLLOWED his psychiatrists advise and he currently takes both the medicines..And finally in our house we are relatively in peace .

  • #80498

    cquinlan3
    Participant

    Caringmom…thank you SO much! I can’t tell you how helpful this information is. He will be seeing a new psychiatrist this week and I will definitely discuss your suggestion with him. Thank you again!

  • #80500

    caringmom
    Participant

    Cquinlan…Please when you visit your new psychiatrist ,if possible tell me the feedback whatever he has given.. Thanks

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