I hate my mind sometimes

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Penny Williams 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #179474

    andydippy
    Participant

    I hate coming to the worst possible conclusion about things if a girl I like is involved.
    Why do I even have to form some huge conclusion of any sort based on the tiny bit of information I know.
    I stopped seeing a girl 2 months ago and we left it that we would meet up in a few months if we got back in contact.
    This is not a great way to leave matters of the heart with adhd, as basically everyday is like oh she is never going to call. This weekend as the pubs were open in the UK after lockdown I felt sure she was with some guy somewhere and I wouldn’t hear from her again. Low and behold Sunday she text saying she had been thinking about me. I immediately thought toyield see the pain I’ve causedy self all this time for nothing.
    So we arranged to talk at 8pm Sunday, so I phoned then and no reply, wasn’t till about 1am she messaged saying she had a mental day and would telle about it tomorrow (ie monday). I assumed mental meant something bad had happened, so when I didn’t hear from her today (monday) I sent a message sayings “are you ok” to which I got a reply “sorry yes I’m ok, will get back to you later sorry”.
    So nowy brain has taken over and told me she was away with some guy sure day night and is with him again today as she obviously can’t tslk to me.

    I HATE THINKKNG LIKE THIS. It’s never ending if it’s a girl I like, jump from one bad thought to the next. I’ve actually just deleted her number (for about the 50th time) as I’m sure she is with some guy and that’s y she hasn’t contacted me.
    For all I know a family member is dead or something but I’m 10000% sure it’s what I think it is and I’m so stressed and anxious thinking about it.
    I had more or less got over her after 2 months after great pain now I feel back to square one!!!
    It’s just not worth having any feelings for someone it really isn’t.

  • #179476

    andydippy
    Participant

    Actually Iam sitting here crying thinking about it

  • #179613

    Yarlan Zey
    Participant

    I think I know what you mean, although you seem to have a more severe case of it than me. Kind of a fear of rejection I guess, or maybe just a general negative bias going on in our minds. “The worst possibility must be true, other possibilities are just wishful thinking”, something like that.

    If the thoughts start, you could say to yourself, “No, I’m not going to think about that. I’ll think about something interesting instead”. Then start thinking about a hobby of yours, or anything that interests you. Alternatively, read, watch or listen to something good.

    So basically, try and stop the negative thought train, and replace it with better thoughts. That’s what I try to do.

  • #179622

    Penny Williams
    Keymaster

    Take a look at Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, common with ADHD:

    How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

    Why You Feel Rejection So Intensely

    Penny
    ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach, Podcaster & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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