I got married 3 month ago from ADHD and about to break-up, would to do?

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    • #49653
      MEMAMO
      Participant

      Hi, I married a young lady 25 years old with a child, after the marriage due to her abnormal behavior I found that she’s been diagnosed with ADHD the same goes with her child too. Also, after quite short time I discovered that she’s been through a lot in her life such as having random multiple relationships, alcoholic and drugs abuse, and when I faced her with that, she admitted by putting her excuse on her ADHD diagnose that’s leading her to feel stress and feeling depressed all the time, I forgave her since she’s promised to take further action toward to end up her previous relationships and start new life with me.
      Now almost every day we have a new problem on trivial things, and whenever we come to argue, I find her yelling, screaming, even more than that by approaching me physically. I’m trying to understand her but every time I fail because of insisting of kicking me and my stuff in the street, which leading me to stay away from her, now I’m out of home for more than 20 days, last time she’s dropped me to some place to stay in, even she doesn’t care about my situation.
      Despite what she’s doing with me but I feel that she loves me, and it’s out of her control as she saying.
      That’s what’s happening with me, and I simply feel that this relationship is gonna be ended very soon and we are filing for dissolution this week.
      She’s been prescribed some medication to help her to focus and help her to get rid of the stress and the depression but I don’t think that’s gonna help.
      I love her and willing to continue with her but I’m so afraid that our life will get more worst, especially she’s wanting to make a baby, though she’s already a mother.
      I really don’t know what to do, my life is simply like the hell if anyone could please advise me what I should do. let go and move on or give her another chance!
      Your help is highly appreciated.

    • #50387
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      Until she gets treatment and wants to work on her ADHD, nothing will change, unfortunately. Focus on what you need, as that’s the only person you really have control over.

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #50421
      Old LADDy
      Participant

      You might want to tell her that you will reconsider after she has got help and is able to manage her ADD. She has probably been self medicating and she has developed all kinds of dysfunctional coping mechanisms that affect her behaviour. She may need you to reaffirm her diagnosis and support her by helping her to forgive herself for her past behaviour. You may want to focus on supporting her child from a distance. I think you could really help her by stepping right back (divorce if necessary) but observing her from a distance. You getting involved in her treatment will probably add complications and confuse her even more. Sad story. Good luck.

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