I feel like a nobody…

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    • #134312

      I feel like no matter how much I try, I’ll always be a nobody and I’ll never amount to anything worthwhile. At least to the level of my family who are all somebodies. Doesn’t matter how much I improve, my disabilities will always outweigh my intelligence and my ability to do great. I’ve been crying almost every night now and I want to hurt myself.

    • #134314

      If you’re thinking about harming yourself, please reach out. Consider speaking to a family member or friend, counselor, or the national lifeline (if you’re in the States) at 800-273-8255.

      Emotionally pain can be overwhelming and intense, but like the waves in an ocean they have a rise and fall. The negative feelings and thoughts you have aren’t facts. You are more than a nobody, and you are somebody special.

    • #134334
      Aaron Lewis

      Everyone has things they aren’t good at. Find something interesting and learn something about it, and you might find a career in what you are learning about. Another thing is to make sure you are getting some exercise as that can help.

    • #134359


      You’re not alone. I went through something very similar. I started feeling better when I stopped caring about what others think, and instead started working on my own problems one day at a time. we have ups and downs and days when we really need to vent because of the overwhelm we can experience.

      You aren’t a nobody, you’re a human being who has TONNES of potential. You have so much time to get things on the right track. We all worry and think about the future so much, thinking “how can I have this, and this, when they all have x , y ,z which I want too”. It can feel like a dream, a wish which will never come true. But it can. It starts with harnessing all this energy into something you enjoy.

      Take it one day at a time. And guess what, it’s ok to let your emotions out, even if it means crying every day. It’s a natural sign of us venting our frustrations and worries. I saw that someone else suggested it, and I know it can be annoying when people suggest it, and I’m referring to Exercise.

      Exercise single-handedly saved my life. It improved my confidence, my health, my overall outlook on life. Once you establish a routine with exercise, I can PROMISE you things will slowly start getting better. Then you harness this new outlook onto something YOU want to do. It might not work for everyone, which is OK. It’s about going forward until you do. But I PROMISE you will find it, I promise. You just have to keep up the fight and never let your disability get the better of you.

      Kind Regards

      • #135600

        It’s not really a factor of caring what people think. I place my self-esteem on my ability to do things. I’m too depressed to care about what people think at this point in my life.

    • #134565

      Your words and how you are feeling resonated with me. I’m almost 40 and don’t have a “career”. I’ve failed at pretty much everything that I have ever tried. But…when I was at my lowest (Which it sounds like you are there now) I read a book called “Girl Stop Apologizing” by Rachel Hollis. It’s not a book about ADHD or anything related. It’s a kickass, pump you up you are a great person book. It really helped me get out of my funk, to start seeing myself for me and not my ADHD. I started to write a book about a girl who fails, falls, and then finds out that she has ADHD. I’m hoping to have it edited and published in the new year. My goal is to help others who may be struggling and it sounds like you are. Please take measures to get the help you need. You did a great thing by reaching out here and I hope that my story can help you a little. Best wishes!! 🙂

    • #134569
      Penny Williams

      Definitely reach out to a suicide hotline or a therapist if you feel like harming yourself!

      Everyone is good at something! Everyone! It just takes longer to discover for some (especially when you have ADHD).

      What make you feel capable or fulfilled when you do it? Focus on expanding that. And, remember, your life has far more positive impacts on others than you know, and that is an achievement.

      “I Feel Like a Loser at 21”

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #135626
      Lili C.

      I’m so glad you reached out! I can relate to the feelings of worthlessness and shame associated with ADHD and have also gone through periods of very intense depression. Things turned around for me when I found a good counselor to talk with, and when I started to recognize that the dreamy,’spacey’ and impulsive side of myself that I’ve struggled with my whole life is also the source of my creativity, imaginative skills and sense of humor. I haven’t figured out how to harness these traits into building a career, but I still try to honor them, make time for them every day, and remember that they are gifts that I bring to the world. I’m guessing that if you have ADHD you have special gifts too. They may be subtle, but I’m sure they are there. Maybe it’s the ability to see things differently than most people do, or the ability to focus intensely on a project. Maybe you are a good storyteller, or have an artistic eye, or an ear for music. Whatever your gifts are, practice them. Whatever you love to do, make time to do it, even if it’s something that won’t become a career for you. If you continue to feel like harming yourself, call suicide prevention or get in touch with a therapist. Hang in there, it will get better I promise!

    • #134574

      Sure is a smooth way to start a conversation.

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