I am losing my mind.

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    • #140329
      Chicken429
      Participant

      I have a 4 yo, 1yo and 1mo old. When it was just my oldest I could deal. He would be going all day and not listening at times, but I could keep up. I could go with him and I had infinite patience. Then my 2nd came. I had alot of hormonal problems and 2 kids, trying to clean and my oldest wanted my attention 24/7. Always wanting to talk or play or not listening. now I’ve had my 3rd child and it is so out of control. He DOES NOT listen!!! Ever. He runs around Alllll day. Constant running back and forth. running his cars into walls. Jumping up and down. He jumps in his brothers face and one of them gets hurt. I tell him to give his brother space. I’ll say it 10x. 1,000x and he wont stop. All day everything is a battle. “Stop jumping in your brothers face, stop throwing your toys, calm down, someone’s going to get hurt, dont throw your toys, that’s not how you play with that, stop banging your toys into walls, stop yelling your brothers asleep. All day it’s like this. It’s worse too cuz now he wont take naps. He gets about 9 to 10 hours of sleep a night and wont nap. You can sit there 3 hours and force him to sit there and he won’t sleep. But he will be almost delusional tired which just makes him more hyper and have more outbursts, impossible to talk to. he doesnt eat dinner with us. he cant sit there. We have tried over and over but he will scream half the time if we try and make him eat with us. Instead he will get up 10x and play or run around and sit back down. He does go to bed on time. That’s about the only thing I’ve I’ve somehow managed. I’ve gotten to where I yell all day. I can say calmly the same thing 11x but then i yell because it’s the only way he hears me. So I’ve become a garbage mom to him. Some days I will try VERY hard. Like today. I stayed calm all day. Didnt yell. Didnt spank. I would sit down with him and listen and be understanding and explain things. Redirect him. This took up about 90% of my day. Then he got overly tired and wouldn’t quit screaming about a toy. So I realized he needs a nap. For an hour i tried to calmly get him to nap. He would NOT listen and scream. Finally I started screaming and broke and spanked him. Then he took a nap. That was 5PM. I made it until 5PM and gave up. Then he was 100000x worse the rest of the night after he woke up. If I hadn’t tried so hard he would have actually been BETTER. that makes me resentful because it feels like he doesnt even want me to be a good mom or be close to him. He Is literally better when i yell and spank. I’ve tried every form of parenting. I’m coming to the conclusion he is adhd. Something is wrong. My 1yo is extremely different and listens and is calm. My oldest has never been that way. I am at the end of my rope. I dont know how to diagnose him or if a pediatrician would blow me off since everyone says they’re kid is add now. My friends dont believe me and say all kids are hyper. I dont know if theyll give him medicine at 4? Is there even a point? What do I do? I have 3 kids and I dont have time to sit and redirect him 10000000000000x a day. Help

    • #140520
      Celeste65
      Participant

      “All kids are hyper”.
      Nope. Neither one of mine were. You should schedule an appointment with a pediatrician. That is the only thing I can think of. Perhaps therapy without medication for your son would be in order. Eventually, what is going on with him could affect your other children, not to mention you becoming burned out.

    • #140792
      Chicken429
      Participant

      Man. I’m already burnt out. Like today. Other kids was asleep but he of course hasn’t napped. So I started dishes. I gave him a new toy that is actually his brothers. I said do not break this because it’s your brothers. You can play with it until he wakes up though. Brand new. Little magnetic easel thing with a pen and the circles you draw with. Anyways. I go to do dishes and start watching a show on my phone. He is getting frustrated at the toy, wanting my constant attention. He is getting more and more frustrated so I take it away because I dont want him to break it before his brother can play with it. I look and there is indentations from him stabbing it with the pen but it still works. So I’m pretty mad but continue dishes. He is coming to me every 15 seconds wanting to talk or play and I keep saying I’m doing dishes. By the time I’m done doing dishes I’ve almost lost my mind. He just needs CONSTANT attention and it drives me insane sometimes. Then his brother wakes up and I give him the toy and realize the pen is broke. He is so hyper and has so many outbursts that he is always breaking toys or books. Then my boyfriend was mad I even gave it to him first. I should have known better. But anyways. Somedays he can be somewhat calm or there are times he does sit and watch tv or sit with me and then I doubt myself. Overall I know he is EXTREMELY hyper though and very hard to keep focused or keep from getting angry. Or listen. I’m paranoid that I’m gonna ask his doctor and they just think im a crappy parent. What if I am just a crappy parent? What if I get him medicine and he isnt adhd. Idk. I have tried so many parenting methods tho and they dont seem to work no matter how hard I try. It’s so frustrating and then I feel really guilty. Because he is a good and sweet kid, but he just gets so hyper or frustrated and carried away that he is always in trouble. Makes me feel like crap because if he is not adhd that means I just suck as a parent. But if he is adhd he is in trouble for stuff he can’t control which means I’m a crappy parent. Lol. Idk. I’m frustrated

    • #140796
      Chicken429
      Participant

      Oh yeah and also was gonna add. He does have an appointment on the 12th so I’m gonna ask then. Just conflicted.

    • #140882
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      You can be prescribed ADHD medication at age 4, in extreme cases. Be sure to tell the clinician the fill picture of what the day-to-day life is like with him having no treatment.

      Could Your Preschooler or Toddler Have ADHD? How to Investigate

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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