I am diagnosed with ADHD but I am unsure if this is a symptom or if I’m lazy

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  ScatterBrainy 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #142412

    canyourepeatthat
    Participant

    I need help understanding something that I have trouble with. I have ADHD, I was diagnosed over 10 years ago and have been receiving the same medication without issues for years. This issue has been going on for years but I always assumed I was lazy. This is something I am incredibly ashamed of because it makes no sense and the answer is right there and obvious but it continues to be a problem. There are times when I cannot control my body or get it to do something i badly wish to do. I’m not talking about things like not being able to get out of bed, something that those with depression often experience. this is different from that. It’s small things that don’t matter but build up to make me unorganized and upset. A specific example is that i cannot put my debit card back in my wallet. i’m not concerned about holding up a line or trying to get of the way. i put it loose in my bag and i always lose it. Its not remembering that’s the problem. If it was I’d have sticky notes everywhere. The entire time from the moment I grab my debit card, while I’m paying, and to the end of the transaction I am literally repeating to myself “put it in your wallet” over and over. as i go to put my card away i am actively begging myself to just put it back in my wallet. to just do it. and i cant. no matter how much effort i put into it i watch it go in my backpack loose. its like im not in control anymore. Im an adult and I lose my debit card constantly and it drives me to tears because I see the issue and I know the solution and it doesn’t happen. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been to dinner or somewhere out with friends and I open my wallet to pay my portion and my debit card is missing. It’s embarrassing and unacceptable. im physically healthy and i have no movement/muscular/skeletal issues. im not impaired. another example is a video game. I’m not much of a gamer, I rarely play. But when I do, I can’t put the controller down. The game isn’t addicting, I can go days without thinking about it or playing it. But as soon as I pick up the controller I won’t put it down for hours. And it’s not one particular video game it’s every video game I’ve ever played. For the first hour or two it’s fun, like how it’s supposed to be. But then I get hungry, or thirsty. Soon it’s been 7 hours, I haven’t eaten at all I feel sick. I share a tv with my roomates and I remind them constantly that they can take over the tv whenever they want. My hope is they’ll ask to use it and something in my brain will snap into place. But until someone interrupts or intervenes, I’ll spend hours hoping they do so I can just let go of the controller. It’s not “five more minutes and then I’ll get off” it’s “please can someone take the controller out of my hands I can’t take it anymore” It gets to the point where I’m nauseous and I don’t even want to look at the tv, I’m not enjoying myself. I’m begging my body to just let go of the controller and it doesn’t. I know this is really long, and i know this might be nonsense and not be related to anything at all. but if anyone has any insight or any advice i would really appreciate it. I keep telling myself to just do it and maybe I’ll get into the habit but its been years and i really just want to understand.

  • #143235

    Penny Williams
    Keymaster

    What about wearing a card holder on a lanyard and keeping your debit card there? It’s around your neck so it’s just as easy to slide it back in there as it would be to slide it into your pocket.

    Penny
    ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #143458

    ScatterBrainy
    Participant

    I understand what you mean. I wish I was organized. I want to be sooo badly. I always picture it one day everything will finally get organized. But i always seem to get overwhelmed. It starts off with I don’t know where to start or even how to start it. Then
    I end up sorting things and putting thingss in piles of things that should go somewhere else and then I end up with just things everywhere and a bunch of unfinished tasks an get overwhelmed and give up. So then i end up making it an even bigger mess than it was.

    I used to lose my debit card too because I find it to be a hassle to take it out of my wallet in my purse so I would just slip it in the slot inside my purse. And there were times while I’m driving and have to make a turn and my purse knocks over and things just spill out in my car. So now I use a phone case with a wallet and store my card in the wallet phone case. It just slides and I store my ID and either my debit card or credit card in it.

    About the video game controller, I know the feeling. It’s like you need someone to tell u to snap out of it! I think the next time you feel that way, you should ask out loud if your roommate can help you and take the controller away from you. I think you should talk about it to your roommate first so they can understand that sometimes you may get that way and may need their help to take the controller away from you.

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