October 17, 2019 at 8:58 pm #131703
My husband has had ADHD for as long as I’ve known him (since 16 and we are 40 now). He has not taken medication for this until recently. He works for the government as a wildlife biologist and has for 14 years. Wishing the last 4 years his job has become more demanding as he has moved up in the field. We recently relocated for this new position and bought our first house. He has started experiencing the same issues he has with the previous position. His supervisor is fed up with his forgetfulness, lack of time management, not meeting deadlines, etc. Although he is a very hard worker, puts in extra time, and shows up on time everyday, it’s not enough. I finally convinced him to see a doctor, get on medication, and go to counseling. He also has anxiety, depression and insomnia. He explained to his supervisor that he is getting help for this condition. He turned in a doctors note and has reasonable accommodations. I thought she would get off his back after that and have some compassion. I thought she would see how proactive he is being and how hard he is trying to be better. Nope. In fact she has gotten worse. She is trying to get him fired. She writes him up for little things, gives him horrible quarterly reviews. She put him on probation which will end in demotion, transfer, or firing. He does not feel his reasonable accommodations have been adhered to very well. She will say she has adhered to them. He has talked to the union representative, the ranger, and recently put in a complaint for workplace harassment. He has no friends were he works. They’re all invited to s party at the supervisors house and he specifically was not invited. If he loses his job, we lose everything. I don’t make enough to pay our mortgage. We’re scared.
October 18, 2019 at 2:56 pm #131802
This is a good example of why a lot of ADHD and employment experts will tell you not to disclose ADHD in the workplace. While there are protections under the law, it’s very easy for employers to fire on other grounds and get away with it.
Have you thought about hiring an ADHD coach? A coach can help him develop strategies for his specific struggles to create some improvement and less overwhelm.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
October 21, 2019 at 3:25 am #131921
Ariendeau, there is an old saying in the business world that might
be beneficial here: “People will rise to the level of their own
We ALL have our limitations on what we are able to be successful at.
Some folks go on to be CEO’s, while others are very satisfied working
in manufacturing, technical fields (welding, mechanic, construction, etc.)
If your husband was happy and successful as a field biologist, perhaps that
might be where he needs to return to?
IMO, quality of life is far more important than rising up through the ranks.
Has he considered looking at other positions he may be better suited for?
November 8, 2019 at 6:54 pm #134016
He was forced to resign. Now he has no job. Now we’re going to lose our house and probably our relationship. Guess our son isn’t going to college either. And to top it off, now he has no insurance in order to get the medication he needs to manage his ADD. I cannot put him on mine since we are not technically married.
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