How to manage emotions?

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  colleenbiello22 3 months ago.

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  • #67959

    Darizuka
    Participant

    Hi, Im new to the community.

    Im just wondering how to manage emotions?
    Like..

    I was recently diagnosed with ADD for Adults at the age of 27.
    In all due sense, it felt like most of my insecurities kind of washed away since all the self-loathing blame just kind of disappeared
    and was more of a “..turns out its something thats beyond me as to why i keep failing at everything”

    and after that, with the proper medication I improved alot with my work
    My attitude with work were positive and I felt for the first time that I had so much control of myself and my career…
    It was positive.. for about 2 months
    then everything went crumbling
    and im at a state of constant irritability and self-loathing.

    I mean I did narrow it down to one main cause which was a customer
    But being that he is a customer, whether I like it or not I have to deal with it

    The issue also being that i come from a 3rd world asian country
    and here, only my family knows of my illness since its frowned upon in any case by others
    so it remains hidden… but its also hard, given those around me are quite highly critical and their criticisms isnt exactly small. since it can get more and more pressing and worse.

    All in all, right now Im just in desperate need of help on how to manage emotions and be more.. positive at work
    since the strain is making me impulsive and easily irritable and always frustrated over minor things.

    My Vayarin and Concerta medications doesnt seem like its working.

  • #67970

    ADHDmomma
    Keymaster

    I think a lot of times it feels like the medication loses effectiveness when, really, it’s that it was so different from your norm at first that the effects were more striking. Regardless, you want to continue to do well.

    Here are some great tips and strategies on emotional control with ADHD:

    7 Emotions That Knock Us Off Our Feet

    And some guidance on maintaining a positive outlook:

    My 10 Secrets for Preserving Self and Sanity

    Take it one day at a time, one moment at a time. Learning some positive self-talk for the challenging times can help.

    Penny
    ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #68026

      Darizuka
      Participant

      Thanks for you input ADHDmomma.

      But how does one deal with meeting someone they loathe?
      I mean I can honestly say throughout my life thus far, there’s only one person i’ve met (thankfully) whom i loathe to such an extent
      that it just throw my mood down hearing from him/ or hearing his name…

  • #68021

    liasamturn
    Participant

    Hey,

    I’m the same age as you and recently diagnosed, too. I’ve had a similar sort of course since starting stimulants – like something I had even realised was wrong was suddenly fixed – but then had the horrible rebound of anxiety, mood swings and irrational anger… I’m not an angry person in the SLIGHTEST, so I found it really weird. My psychiatrist started me on a mood stabiliser which has really helped to level it out….maybe have a chat with yours about it!

    Lots of luck to you, it’s a mare, isn’t it..!

  • #68227

    anomalocaris
    Participant

    For me, part of the solution is just keeping in mind that being pleasant with customers — even the ones I hate — is what I get paid for. Basically, I separate my feelings from my actions. I’m free to feel whatever way I want but, when I’m on the job, I’m being paid to behave in a certain way.

    A couple of other thoughts that might help you. They’re lessons I had to learn the hard way!

    1. The moment you allow someone else to make you react in anger, you’ve given them power over you, and they win. Don’t give them that power.

    2. If you don’t like or respect the person, you have no reason to care about their opinion of you. So, there is no reason to feel hurt if they don’t like you, or if they insult you. Their insults are just meaningless noise that they’re making because they’re not strong or mature enough to take charge of their own emotions and behavior. When I have to deal with adults who get verbally aggressive, I see them as toddlers, because from the age of 5 on, humans have the developmental capacity to choose not to act on their emotions. So when I see an adult making a scene to try to change my behavior, they think they’re being intimidating, but in my mind they are simply behaving like a child of 4 years old. A four year old is not intimidating. And I’m not going to have any respect for an adult behaving like a four year old.

    Thinking about your difficult customer in this way, might make you more confident in dealing with him, and that may reduce your stress in dealing with him.

  • #68290

    Pogue
    Participant

    27 years of insecurities, self blame and fears… when all that has a name and there are a lot of people like you, facing the same downs like you. All these years were actually not about your incapability but about you not knowing how to correctly cope with what you have. There are people with exact your problem, people learn how to live a full life and enjoy life as it is.
    Be positive, focus on what can be done. Trust yourself, your body. Don’t expect too much from medications, sometimes even doctors don’t know exactly how that stuff works. Listen to your guts and accept yourself, that’s a first thing to start with.

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