How to make a partner feel more confident from long distance.

[bash550]

Hi everyone,

My partner has sever confidence issues due to her ADHD. It’s hard reassuring her because I now live quite far from her. Although this arrangement is temporary, it affects her a lot. Do you have any advice on how best to boost her confidence from long distance?

Thank you.

[Penny Williams]

I think showing her that you are still available and supportive for her will help. Poor confidence isn’t necessarily an ADHD trait, but it’s often common in individuals with ADHD, because they struggle to meet mainstream expectations. If it’s confidence in the relationship she’s lacking, that simply may take time to build.

Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

[bash550]

Thanks for the reply, ADHDmomma. I believe you may be right about her trying to meet mainstream expectations. It’s something I have been trying to tell her isn’t really important to a greater extent. Other than though, communication has been tougher. We can talk about light and trivial topics and have a good time, but whenever I challenge her views or engage her in any form of debate, she assumes that something is wrong and tries to placate. like you said though, confidence should come with time.

Bash

[Penny Williams]

You might find it very enlightening to read about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria as well:

The Fear of Failure Is Real — and Profound

How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

Your Emotional Riot — Or Why ADHD Makes You Feel So Much

Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

[bash550]

Thank you so much for this! I never knew. I feel so ignorant about ADHD all over again.

[Author]

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