How do I make sure he's not cheating on me?

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    • #83952

      My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. Some months ago, we met in a social dating event where we got along so much and date a lot. We communicate through calls in skype, even visit each other when we have enough time. But just recently, our daily video calls is not happening already. He said he’s too busy with his work. But the thought that he might be seeing another woman is creeping in my mind. How do I make sure he’s not cheating on me?

    • #84077

      Hello, doubtgf25,

      You can’t be sure your boyfriend is not cheating on you. The best indicator is his behaviors, and they are what is causing you doubt.

      There are many ways you can spy on him, even from afar, and there are many ways he can hide things from you. If you snoop, you are likely to get into a frustrating cat and mouse game with him. Your anxiety will likely increase, and you will waste a lot of time.

      Don’t assume your boyfriend is cheating on you. You can discuss your concerns with him, such as it worries you that you no longer speak daily. See how he responds and whether his behavior changes. In time you will likely know why your boyfriend may be distancing himself from you.

      All the best,

    • #90030

      You CANNOT make sure! Unless you are willing to spend the rest of your life in prison. Only him being dead will assure you 100% he’s not cheating. That said, why not just having an honest and open conversation with him? You might not like what you will hear but I think it is the best option you have.

    • #90037

      If it’s even a question, there’s a problem that you shouldn’t ignore: lack of trust. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Without it, the relationship is dysfunctional and not worth preserving.

      Now, you have to self reflect here. Is your lack of trust a problem you have with trusting people, or is it because he has actually acted in a way that betrays trust?

      What you do next depends on the answer to that question.

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