House full of ADHD

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    • #49196
      emily092806
      Participant

      I have a 5 year old daughter with ADHD and ODD, and a 10 year old son with ADD, and my husband of 5 months has ADHD. Needless to say there’s never a dull moment in my house. My husband is 31 and didn’t have any kids until now. I really thought that since he has ADHD I thought it would help him relate and understand the kids better, but it’s actually been the opposite. He sees everything in black and white and it doesn’t matter why the kids do things, it only matters that they are wrong. I can’t tell him anything or give ideas on how to talk to them, because of his ADHD it seems to go on one ear and out the other. He was taking medicine for focus at work, but at home, he doesn’t do anything, and it causes problems for us because he forgets what we talk about and he has a hard time getting anything done around the house. He and my 5 year old clash so much and every day is so stressful listening to the constant fighting and arguing and him being unable to try new methods of dealing with her. He works nights and after my daughter was kicked out of the fourth daycare, he decided he would watch her. He works a night shift and then watches her while I’m at work. I feel like I would be able to teach her more if I were home with her, but finances won’t allow it. It frustrates me that he can justify how he is because of his ADHD and wants me to be sympathetic to that but won’t do it for our daughter. Sometimes I just can’t handle all of the ADHD in my house, and honestly I can’t stand them all sometimes lol. Is this normal? And does anyone else have issues with spouses not understanding their ADHD kids?

    • #49202
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      I can relate. My husband isn’t diagnosed, but we are all pretty confident that is where our son inherited his ADHD. And they butt heads often, because they are both concrete thinkers, inflexible, and struggle with rejection-sensitive dysphoria.

      How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

      What you need is to get everyone in the house on the same page, and probably some outside professional help to do so. Spouses often take parenting direction much better from a professional than from their spouse. A family counselor experienced with ADHD could help you come to an agreement on a parenting approach and help your husband understand why a united parenting front is so important, and so helpful for kids’ behavior. 😉

      A positive parenting approach is most effective with children with ADHD:

      If You Shout, You’ll Never Be Heard

      The Single Most Helpful Strategy in Raising Your Child

      Positive Charge: How to Reinforce Good Behavior

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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