Help!

Viewing 1 reply thread
  • Author
    Posts
    • #55050
      alleyc70
      Participant

      I am new here. I have read everything on ADHD and have tried every suggestion in the book including out of the box solutions, yet my ADHD husband seems entrenched in the idea he is not the one with the problem. The blame game, the temper tantrums that get worse, not better when he doesn’t get what he wants, as well as the constant all consuming stress his negative and at times dangerous behavior can have on the family functioning has taken its toll in the last 15 years. I have two other children, one of whom also has ADHD are on the outside looking in. They are so well behaved in comparison, but I’m worried that the lack of credibility in being able to effectively deal with his constant chaos, will catch up with me, especially with my youngest.

      I’m doing my best, but if i do not come up with better coping mechanisms other than anger, I wont be around to see my youngest grow up due to a stress related death. I have no one in my area that even specializes in this kind of problem, its like they do not include any psychology about ADHD effects and all I am told is how i need to be a better spouse. You cannot be a better spouse to someone like this unless you just put away all desire to be treated like a human being is the way i feel. I have been doing this long enough to know it doesn’t work anyway i have tried and he just gets worse.

      Im at my wits end. I have gone through the family court system before and realized that whole process is a joke. They were more worried about his rights than they were the children’s well being. I know he has an addiction to adderall, but cannot get his doctor to work with me on a more optimal medication he cannot abuse. I feel stuck HELP!

    • #55259
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      ADHD is not an excuse to treat others badly. You don’t say if he’s getting treatment for his ADHD, but I suspect not, given what you have shared. Without accepting his diagnosis and treating his ADHD, nothing is likely to change.

      Take a look at this article to help determine if all this behavior is related to ADHD, or something else:

      Is My Husband Inconsiderate – Or Is It His ADHD Talking?

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

Viewing 1 reply thread

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.