Help! My wife has given up on my ADHD brain after 8 years, I’m sinking..

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Adults Help! My wife has given up on my ADHD brain after 8 years, I’m sinking..

This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Ndrw82 7 months, 2 weeks ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #136209

    grahamafb
    Participant

    Hello Fellow ADHD Crew,

    Please can someone chip in with some guidance on my next steps?

    I’m going through a separation right now and my wife is stepping away from supporting me in my day to day life. I’m falling down at work with all the extra stress going on. I have gone back on my meds to try and stabilise my situation, not really helping.. I just seem to be staying up all night trying to figure out a plan! Still don’t have a plan. I have been trying to start up my own Etsy shop (small business adventure idea.) for the past year and don’t seem to be making any progress. To describe me at the moment. I’m a hot mess. I’m really trying to get it right with my two sons as well. I know that’s super important with the impending separation. Thank you for checking in!

  • #136240

    quietlylost
    Participant

    I’d suggest seeking professional support while you’re dealing with all this. A therapist can be immensely helpful.

  • #136310

    Penny Williams
    Keymaster

    Yes, a therapist… or an ADHD coach. Someone who takes a coach approach (some therapists do) to guide you through the process and support you with meeting your goals and in general day-to-day functioning.

    What Is an ADHD Coach?

    Penny
    ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #136381

    Skypark962
    Participant

    I’m sorry you’re going through this.

    If the meds aren’t helping, look into brand name or adjusting the dosage. The meds should be helping if it’s helped you before.

    What is your current job? Any other stressors other than separation?

    • This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by  Skypark962.
  • #136635

    grahamafb
    Participant

    Thank you all for the suggestions. I have seen my doctor and started back on the medication. The dose has been adjusted, I’m starting to have more focused days and I’m achieving more in work. This is helping to lower my stress levels. I work in management. Good point about the brand name, certain ones do work better than others. I think it’s to do with the inactive ingredients.. I will look into the therapist option, I certainly could do with some talk therapy! The other stressor is really about managing my day to day. I have had my wife overseeing certain aspects like managing finances, shopping and keeping things in order at home. I guess it’s time for me to get the support I need, stick to a plan for more than 3 days and make it happen.

    • This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by  grahamafb.
  • #137057

    Ndrw82
    Participant

    Hey Graham..

    We can all agree that marriages/relationships are all very nuanced, and no two are exactly alike.. and I dont know for sure if what I have to offer is applicable to you, given the dynamics of your specific relationship… However, I am currently operating in a situation that seems to have a LOT of parallels.

    I resisted podcasts for a long time, until I heard a couple that were a good fit for my situation/learning style/needs. I’m sure you could find some really good discussions on implementing the right kind of tools and communication skills to help you during this difficult time.

    For starters, the ADDitude Podcast is fantastic. You can scroll through and find some titles that cover topics of interest. I’ll share some of my favorites in another post.. for now..

    Apple phones and devices can use Apple Podcast app. I use a Samsung/Android and downloaded the Stitcher app. Both have some shortcomings but overall very user friendly.

    Specific shows and episodes to follow.

    Godspeed👍

    A

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