December 22, 2018 at 4:14 pm #105811
I really need a prod to action. I need to clean the house. It hasn’t been done for weeks and I didn’t have any motivation for it today (maybe because I am so tired from work (full time teacher) and because I normally do the minimal things each week, but since my hoover brook down I stopped doing anything in the house and now it’s hard to begin and tomorrow I get my stepmother here to have an important talk. My neighbours complained about the roses which fell down form the wall on the pavement. I’m living in Amsterdam, but found this forum and hope there is someone who is reading with whom I can make an appointment that I start now and will have finished a specific thing in a certain time. I also have to correct school work for my students, because they need my feedback in order to improve their work during the holidays. And I have to study.
Thanks in advance!
December 22, 2018 at 4:47 pm #105812
Maybe I should add, that maybe now people are not reading this, but I really would like to get a ‘mate’ or ‘buddy’ or I don’t know how you call that in english, but someone to send a message to when I need to start tot do something and tell exactly what I start with and what I would like to have finished in half an hour and than really start and than come back to that person and say if I did it. That would really motivate me. Maybe it would motivate someone else to and I could be the person to whom you tell what you would like to start with, because that helps you to really start.
I’m 42 years old and I live on my own (with my cat and chickens) in Amsterdam, combine two jobs (in total over fulltime) as a teacher in biology and Dutch for foreigners and some physics, a second master of education (a study for which I pay money, but I’m not doing anything) and the care of my three icelandic horses (including taking care of mucking out, fences, hoofs etc). I normally manage quite well, despite my ADD combined type / being verbally and in terms of perception and logics gifted, but weak in terms of working memory and data processing speed. At the moment another problem is, I have thousands of piles of paper on the floor of my bed room, on my desk, on the table of the living room, mainly tests and school materials which don’t have a place to store them or any way of ordering. I don’t know how to organise them. Since there are bookshelves full of such unorganised piles from earlier years of teaching.. So I try not to be at home since I can’t stand the mess and I’m quite often desperately looking for something and come to late to work with pupils complaining and stress etc.
I really hope there is someone who can help me to get started at that very moment, since in the past I would at that moment go to my flat mate and tell him ‘I want to start know with my studies (or whatever), let’s see, I think the first step is that I start … and than … and I hope I get that finished, so I will tell you in half an hour and then I really wanted to show him and myself I was serious and would start directly. I really miss such a motivator.
December 22, 2018 at 5:00 pm #105813
Okay, let’s just do as if…
I start with watering the plants, because they otherwise die, but in order to give the orchids water I need a clean sink, so I start with the dishes. I put on outdoor clothes . Than I get my screwdriver out of the car and try to fix the hoover robot, I take all stuff from the floor of the corridor, in the kitchen for a while and let it hoover the corridor or if I don’t get it fixed I do it with my old hoover. I take the paper and glass to the recycle bins two streets further. Then getting the floor empty of the living room and kitchen, hoovering, then find a cleaning cloth and clean the toilet. Empty the table. If I shut the door of my sleeping room my stepmother will not see the mess there. I have to find old inner bike tubes to bind the roses. Tomorrow morning I go to the horses and muck out and return with the ladder and some wire, so I can bind the roses to the wall and clip them.
Okay, let’s start!!
December 22, 2018 at 7:31 pm #105815
Pff.. everything done I could do tonight and much more and now I’m completely exhausted, but happy that it’s done.
December 24, 2018 at 10:19 pm #105836Ella CParticipant
You poor thing! You are a hard worker and you should give yourself credit for that. It’s hard to be divided between so much.
I know this is easier said than done, but focusing on one cleaning task at a time will help.
When I struggle to get motivated to clean, I set a timer for 15-20 minutes and tell myself I will work on cleaning until that timer goes off. I start with the more noticeable higher priority tasks. Usually the hardest part is getting started.
December 26, 2018 at 10:37 am #105865Penny WilliamsKeymaster
What you’re looking for is a “Body double.” Someone to help keep you on track and accountable.
Many adults with ADHD also find the Fly Lady program very helpful.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
December 27, 2018 at 10:23 pm #105922GetittogethergirlParticipant
I was an all or nothing cleaner until I started meds. Not sure if you have tried them, but they took that feeling of being overwhelmed by everything away.
December 28, 2018 at 12:15 pm #105957hayesParticipant
I’m also a full-time teacher (married with 2 kids aged 20 & 17), diagnosed 16 yrs ago at age 35. I find the paperwork associated with school overwhelming at times, as it cuts into the other parts of our lives. Then we get overwhelmed with where to start, as it feels we are short-changing one part of our lives with whatever task we choose (schoolwork vs family/housework). I’ve found breaking things into smaller chunks helps me get started; the task doesn’t seem so daunting.
The hard part sometimes is the energy required to start. That sounds a little like what’s going on with you. Meds helped me stay on task a bit, but not with the energy/impetus to start. That has to come from some inner scaffolding, I think. Whether it’s reminders set (I do that for schoolwork), check-ins with family members or trusted colleagues to encourage us, there’s a lot of resources out there to help with this; you just have to try out some and find what works best.
In defense of a fellow teacher, most people don’t understand the volume/degree of time/energy/work that we have outside of our immediate work environment. Whether planning lessons, creating assessments, or correcting the never-ending pile of papers, much of that is done at home so we can be fully present to our students at school. The energy required for those of us with ADD is exponential; and we have outside lives, as well! I agree with Lenny above, maybe having someone might help begin that process. Also, don’t be so hard on yourself! I know that’s hard for us teachers, but it sounds like you’re on your way.
Good luck going forward – I’ll check back to see how things progress. Now I have to get to that pile of papers I put aside to respond here 🙂 (though that was by choice!). Be well…
March 4, 2019 at 4:54 pm #110363
Thanks for your nice reactions!
I feel ashamed of the mistakes I now see in my posts.. But anyway.. it would be so great if there was someone here who I could tell my action plan by whats app for instance and then start. I don’t need that everyday, just now and then would be great.
In the meantime I got more hours (classes to teach) at one of my jobs and quite the other. That felt horrible in terms of leaving the pupils behind in the middle of a school year, but it gives me some rest. I also finished my research paper for my master’s degree and farmed out the training and care for the horses for a couple of months. So now I have to finish the other important paper for my studies.
I still hope someone is in for the idea of getting me started with a task, and I could serve as your motivator.
@ADHDmomma: it doesn’t have to be someone who is fysically around I think
@hayes: respect! That you can manage your job as a teacher and two children..!
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