Help I’m about to lose it

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    • #183141

      Hi everyone! I’m a single mom to a 10 year old son diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. He isn’t medicated currently. He tried Strattera but he bad side effects. The doctor won’t give him stimulants because he is underweight. He’s extremely picky with food. She gave me Lexapro for depression but we haven’t started it yet. My problem is he is completely out of control. Yesterday he screamed and yelled at me when I woke him up for school. He proceeded to cuss me out so I took his iPad/electronics away. After school he wanted them back. Obviously after the way he talked to me I said no so he went on a rant. He proceeded to destroy the house. Threw things everywhere, threw eggs on the floor and said he wouldn’t stop til I gave it back. I called the sheriff dept because this isn’t the first time he did it and I couldn’t handle it. I’ve never done that before but I felt like I had no choice. The sheriff came talk to him, they offered to take him but I said if he could calm down I want him to stay. He was good for 2 hours then started again. This literally went on all day where he cussed me and was doing stuff like hiding my phone charger and turning off the TV. It was hell. Woke up today and started all over. I’m sick. I have end stage kidney disease and am about to start dialysis. I feel my health declining. No matter what I do it isn’t good enough. I tell him I love him, I take him places, I spend quality time with him. He’s only happy when he’s getting his way. I’ve tried routine, he’s in therapy, he has play dates with other kids which I may add the other parent always says he’s well behaved. I feel like all his anger is on me. His dad is in jail and has no contact. I’ve had a boyfriend for a year and a half and he hates him. My boyfriend has tried different ways to connect with him but he always rejects it. My life has become a living hell. I love him but I don’t like him. I’m at a loss of what to do at this point

    • #183143


      My wife is a family therapist and our son who is now 20 has ADD and depression/anxiety and has been on and off medication. Our son was never as defiant as you describe, but I can relate to your feeling of being overwhelmed and at your wit’s end. You mentioned your son is in therapy. I recommend that, in addition to his individual therapy, you also do family therapy. Family therapists, especially MFTs, approach therapy from a systems perspective and can be much more helpful in dealing with defiant children, because they hear both sides and can help both sides with coping better.

    • #183159

      i’m so sorry and feel for you. my son is almost 17 and I feel the same as you. I have tried everything under the sun to try to make things better from inpatient to psychiatry, counseling, yoga, meditation, medication. maybe we can’t fix what we wish we could fix for these kids. maybe we need to get ourselves support. i’m so sorry you’re going through this:(.

    • #183332

      I understand your pain. My 14yr old daughter whose been diagnosed with ADHD, and severe depression refuses to go to school. Yesterday I took her electronics away and she ran away and I had to call the police. She is going to do all virtual schooling, as Ive contacted the guidance counselor and she is responsible for doing the work and signing in every day in the morning.
      My daughter has tried meds, shes been in the hospital twice for cutting and suicide attempts. I know how hard this can be. I have health issues too but her dad is a big support. I know that they need consequences as well and my daughter has gotten away with too much for too long. So we set up an appt with her psychiatrist again and will take it from there. Sher refuses meds, therapy, mostly everything right now.
      Just know that this too shall pass. Im praying for ya and hoping you feel better.

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