February 19, 2020 at 5:52 am #142309
Hi everyone, This is my first post I was just looking for some advice / other people’s experiences and how you knew you had adhd?
I’ll introduce myself, My name is Mell and I’m a 29 year old woman with 3 children and a husband, I live in the UK.
I have felt for a long time that something is different with me and after searching into it and coming across different sites and articles about women and adults with adhd I wonder if this is my answer?
Bit of background:
Schooling: So my first primary school I was apparently a handful, i didnt listen i was all over the place so much so they had to attend special teacher training to learn how to deal with me ( a few years ago I ran into my old teacher who said that learning how to work with me actually prepared her for dealing with her granddaughter who actually has an adhd diagnosis)
Ultimately I was excluded from that school.
Around that time my younger brother got his adhd diagnosis.
My mum recently told me when I was asking about what I was like as a child that she thought I probably had it too but that they didnt really test for girls then.
I was then excluded from my next primary school and put into the special unit in my next new primary school along with my brother.
Secondary school was harder for me, I regularly missed days, I forgot about tests, I never had the right equipment for lessons, looking back on my school reports from then was always the same ‘if she remembered this and applied more focus to this she would do well’
As a teenager I was the impulsive one always up to do something crazy just because, I used to say whatever popped in to my head and remembered being ridiculed by one person over it because I’d say something then say “dont ask” because I couldnt explain why I let that come out of my mouth and not stay in my head.
I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder in my later teen years and was prescribed anti depressants although they didnt last long as I always forgot to take them.
Now I’m a mum in charge of taking care of 3 kids and a house, I’m struggling.
I feel like a failure at this.
My house is always a mess even though I try to tidy every day, I have drawers in my kitchen filled to the brim with letters and odd bits and I can never find anything.
Laundry gets done but left in a pile.
I forget important things like school letters or miss deadlines.
My nan does my children’s uniform washing for me as she knows it will get lost in the various stages of laundry I have around the house. Shes my go to for help with remembering term dates or non school uniforms.
I’ve got calenders and meal plans all over the kitchen which help a bit ( my husband laughed and put the date I made the meal plan on it as he said itll be up there for a year and never change ha)
You’ll know if someones talking to me from the “are you listening??… what did I just say?… now remember… dont forget….. have you done that yet?”
I know I drive my husband crazy sometimes when I’m talking to him about one thing then I’ll suddenly switch to something I’ve just seen or remembered mid story.
My wardrobe is full of various hobbys I’ve picked up and been super into then got disinterested in.
I hate shopping, food shopping is worse because I need to be somewhere totally quiet in order to focus on what I need to put on my list or I’ll leave it half done and forget all about doing it.
Clothes shopping is horrible as I can never make up my mind on what I want.
I am very indecisive.
Tbh it all came to a head over my inability to make a choice..
I went for dinner with my in laws and husband and I always get the same thing or well be there for ages waiting for me to decide, this time they didnt have it and I had to go to the bar and tell the guy what I wanted … I couldnt make a choice and my head fwas being invaded by everything else going on around me I couldnt focus on what I needed to do, I panicked and walked off in tears.
Sorry for this essay I probably left a lot out, but could it be this?
Thanks for reading my ramblings its took me 2 hours to write this lol xx
February 19, 2020 at 8:38 am #142313
As written those things all point to ADHD but only a trained Psych should diagnose you.
I would get tested and seek treatment and counseling.
The treatments and counseling work and can help you be a more consistent and organized person. But you will will always have Adhd.
February 20, 2020 at 4:54 am #142413
I’m 35 and just got diagnosed after 15 years, 20 GPs, 5 psychologists and two psychiatrists and trying 4 types of anti depressants. I was first diagnosed with anxiety/depression which was resistant to treatment after so long that I did my own research and learned about adult/inattentive/female ADHD and all the pieces seemed to fit. I searched for a good psychiatrist who specialises in adult ADHD and received a diagnosis and have just started medication (hopefully I will see improvement!).
You sound pretty textbook ADHD, however you need to see a psychiatrist because they are the only medical professionals qualified to give you a clinical diagnosis and prescribe stimulant medication. They can be very expensive and some are not very good, so find one who has experience or specialsies in adult ADHD. In the mean time, you can take some ADHD self-tests (you can Google them), or download and self-administer the DIVA 2.0 test which is one the diagnostic tests psychiatrists use to help with a diagnosis.
I recommend taking the tests and seeing your GP and discussing a possible diagnosis. Bear in mind that some doctors take offence to people taking agency over their health and make suggestions and looking up information on the internet, so find a good GP who doesn’t dismiss your concerns (this has happened to me literally dozens of times). In Australia you first need a referral from a GP to see a psychiatrist.
It is likely ADHD but it could be something else or other conditions as well as ADHD. I was first diagnosed as Bipolar II which is common because they share many traits. ADHD also commonly occurs with other disorders, such as anxiety, depression, migraines, personality disorders, etc, so you definitely should see a psychiatrist.
The good new is, ADHD is one of the most treatable disorders and can be treated with stimulants, but you must take them for the rest of your life. Once you try stimulant treatment, you will know quite quickly whether you have ADHD or not! So take some tests and see your doctor and hopefully you will get to try the medication eventually. I guess that’s the only way you can ever actually know! Good luck!
February 24, 2020 at 9:44 am #143237
The only way to know for sure is to get an evaluation with a professional. However, you can take an online self-test that could help you determine if you’re on the right track:
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
February 26, 2020 at 7:57 am #143257
I agree with Penny.
ADHD is called a “diagnosis of exclusion” because you have do systematically rule out other explanations.
The only way to do that is through a comprehensive quality assessment.
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