He complains constantly

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    • #39994
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      This discussion was originally started by user Udderlycrazy in ADDitude’s now-retired community. The ADDitude editors have included it here to encourage more discussion.

       

      My 15 yo son complains constantly. He seems to hate everything. The only things he gets enjoyment from are: video games which he plays on line with friends from school (which even those can get him worked up), our cat (as long as he doesn’t scratch him) and our dog.

      We just went on a cruise – he usually hates vacations but said he liked the previous cruise we had been on. So we booked it and went with bunch of other families.

      The pools were too small, too crowded, the deep sea fishing excursion we paid $500 for him and his dad to do was boring, there was nothing to do on the ship (mini golf, surfing, swimming, basketball courts, arcade, Rock climbing, etc). He liked the dolphin excursion — got to swim with them, except for parts when standing around, the bus ride was too long, there was too much walking. I could go on and on.

      He is not athletic and is overweight FYI. He wants to lose weight— we see nutritionist soon. He does well in school — very smart FYI.

      I NEED to connect with someone who has similar child — I’m really getting so sad and discouraged. Thanks

    • #41254
      Allison Russo
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user Lilies&Orchids in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      You might want to check to see if your son has a co-condition of persistent depressive disorder. I have two people in my household that have depression (one of them also with ADHD) and they complain a LOT. I only recently learned that people with depression can complain a lot. Up until then, I thought depression just mostly meant withdrawl and sadness. For the two in my house, I now see it as an outcome of an overall feeling of discontent and irritability.

      The condition is mentioned in this article: https://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/12189.html.

      Medication for depression in my family, as well as other treatments like exercise, being outdoors, a good diet, etc. has lessened the complaining and depression. It is hard to live with a constant complainer. Hang in there and be sure to do things for yourself to keep your spirits up.

    • #41257
      Allison Russo
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user adhdmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      Could very well be depression (https://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1015.html). Could also be that the activities of this vacation just didn’t suit him (too much waiting time). The more he’s interested, the better his moods will be, and the better his brain will function.

      Plus, he’s at the age where he really wants to be independent and do his own thing.

      Here’s more on raising teens with ADHD:
      https://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/6507.html

      Penny
      ADDconnect Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #41258
      Allison Russo
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user Udderlycrazy in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      Hi Penny – I wish I could say it was just with vacation. That is just the most recent example. It is seriously with pretty much everything.

      As I continue to think about this I have been remembering that I was quite the complainer as a kid. I wasn’t diagnosed with anxiety / dep and ADHD until adulthood – on the heels of post partum depression with my son actually.

      I will take a look at the links you sent. Thanks

    • #41260
      Allison Russo
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user Udderlycrazy in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      Just wanted to update you guys -his psychiatrist agreed and called it dysthymia – a low level chronic every day kind of depression (which is actually what I was first diagnosed with). So he started Zoloft last week. Thanks for all your input.

    • #41262
      Allison Russo
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user Lilies&Orchids in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      Great job Udderlycrazy on finding out the source. He is so lucky he got you as his mom! I know we wish our kids didn’t inherit some of what they did from us but at the same time, we are the best people to understand and help them…and take them further than we ever made it.

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