July 11, 2018 at 4:30 pm #88121
Hi there, this is my frist time posting on this site and my first time asking a question about ADHD to anyone else actually…
Ever since I was a kid I have had a very hard time with having to change the way I want to do something. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. I am not sure how to explain the feeling. For example, if I am doing some data entry and I have an exact process that I use to enter, a set pattern of keys that I have to click to get from screen to screen or from feild to feild. It will be the exact same process over and over and then something won’t work, and I know in my head that I have to do it a different way. I will do everything, including starting that line over again, to try my best not to have to do my work in a different way than the way I wanted to, in the way my process tells me to do it. Eventually it won’t work, I will have waisted time, and I will have to do it that other way. When I was a kid I would get very updset by the feeling inside me but now as an adult I can get past it and just do it the other way but I still feel very… uncomfortable… and then it takes me forever to get back into the task.
This has just happened again to me and instead of being able to jsut get back to my work I ended up googling if the feeling happens to other people and then decided to post in here. Being distracted from the fact that I was derailed usually helps me get back to doing the task again, as long as I can continue to do it my way.
Does anyone else feel this? If so, how do you move past it?
July 12, 2018 at 2:54 pm #88211
Change is hard. With something like you are describing, we develop muscle memory — our hands are acting without any conscious thought. It takes a lot of time and repetition to “reprogram” that movement.
The key is to not get stuck in the frustration. When it happens, try pausing, taking a few slow breaths, and reminding yourself that it happens to everyone and it’s not you.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
July 13, 2018 at 1:09 am #88261
I too like patterns, rhythm, and the security of knowing what steps come next. It’s like a built in habit. Habits are hard to break. I’m one of those who, instead of fixing the one letter I misspelled in a word, will erase the whole word and start from scratch. Same thing if i word a sentence incorrectly. Something about redoing it the right way makes me feel like I’ve corrected the mistake. I think it has to do with perfectionism for me. Doing it the “right” way is just as important as the result. Sometimes I get stuck. Especially if a step changes at work. It throws off my whole routine and gets me frustrated.
I like what Penny said. Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and let it go. As a person, we’re going to make mistakes. Even if that “mistake” just means not doing something the “right” way. Or having to do something someone else’s way. Reminding ourselves that it’s going to be ok, even if things go differently than expected can help us be more resilient to the inevitable changes.
Sometimes i literally tell myself “I’m okay” when things start making me uncomfortable. Cuz the truth is, i am okay. Feeling uncomfortable doesnt always mean something is wrong. Its supposed to, but my brain is a little different and sometimes overreacts. Letting it stress us out doesn’t fix it. Just makes it feel bigger. Sometimes it’s out of our control. There’s freedom in accepting that, and knowing that, even when things aren’t in our control, we are still okay. 🙂
July 23, 2018 at 4:40 pm #89171
For me it’s not just doing things a certain way, like following my routine in the shower, but other things too. I have to walk on the left, sit in ‘my’ seat at the table, and if I have a plan for what I want for dinner and something happens to change it I struggle to readjust. I’ve been working lately on flexibility; adapting to changing circumstances. It’s not easy, but meditation helps. It’s very difficult to get over that “this is the ‘wrong’ way to do it” feeling, but remembering that I’m a little bit crazy and the ‘wrongness’ is all in my head helps. I can always get a bag of M&M’s and sort them by color to make myself feel better 🙂
July 26, 2018 at 4:22 am #89416
I clean houses for a living and I need certain pants (with back pocket for phone), my clip on wallet, certain size bad for vac attachments and my fav sprays . Without these things- a 2 hour job can change into a 4 hour job and that does suck. I’ve worked extremely hard at training myself to bangs my keys on my key hook, keep my needed cleaning things all together in same place, and look back at my car when parking.. to remember where it is after leaving places. Lol. I’d say – if something is different at work, use your time to make a reminder for you – like a post it note or something.. instead of googling anything. You can train yourself to start new habit. It takes 21 days, they say. And all above advice is good. Everyone has bad days.. just do the best you can and realize you can make up for it on your next awesome day.
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