November 9, 2018 at 11:10 am #103502
Hi im writing this because of an issue that has become in my opinion completely unacceptable to me and how i feel i have begun to be treated by a few supervisors.
And the hardest part is i feel like i have been doing better then ever my medicine is finally to were i feel perfectly able to focus throughout the day and have been catching mistakes and thing ppl dont seem to notice that are important because we have to follow guidelines and procedures. All the time these dont change much which is awesome because is structured. I am still underachieving in my opinion.
I work in an industry with heavy equipment. I have just received a one day suspension because i was told i had fallen asleep in a morning meeting which is not true .
I had listened to the instructions which were about my task. And is important to follow. Once they were done my section and were talking about my area and onto a part which had nothing to do with me i just held my head in hands for about 10 seconds. I was asked if i was ok i said yes why?
I had been listening but it didn’t involve me. So i thought nothing of the occurrence.
Went about my day fine until lunch . Were afterwards i had been taken aside and told to wait .
I was then brought to a meeting with three supervisors all saying im having issues with paying attention that i was caught sleeping with my hood up .. which i dont even have on because i was told to take off previously a month ago is a tearaway for safety that everyone else is still allowed to wear. They then told me i am continuously doing thing i know im not and that i have anger issues and an attitude problem and need to be talking to someone and get counseling. Never in my life have i been told these things.
I was then told im getting a chance here again and we were basically done the meeting.
My union rep was not brought in . They then wanted to drug test me after this was done and i said i dont see why i wasn’t sleeping but i take concerta and have passed the entry tests so i said yes so they would leave me alone afterwards because i knew i would pass the drug tests. I had to wait another 2 and a half hours because nobody was available to perform the tests until then. In which that time i was sitting in office not allowed to drink eat or use the washroom. Had someone following me were ever i went.
Now before the drug test they then had me moving equipment and tried to get me to do so without proper ppe safety gear. I refused until i had my gear i then said this doesn’t make sense you are testing me for drugs i work half the day cant work then you try to set me up operating with proper gear before i take the test you are requesting this is wrong. So i then take the drug test pass it and they let me go back to work.
I work the next day and find several things that could seriously hurt someone or damage equipment. At the end of this day get brought into a meeting and with my union rep finally and am being told that i am being suspended for a day for the previous days saying i was sleeping.. i passed the drug test told them what they were saying while i wasn’t sleeping. And returned to work and am being told i still have issues and need to leave the site drive for and hour and half dont have a choice and can return on Saturday..
This has all been giving me anxiety when ive changed many things and still being told differently. Is a person with a personal problem with me using that i take medication and have add as an excuse to do this to me is very hard to work when i try a lot harder than most people it feels and still keep getting told im wrong and have a problem and need to change .
I feel im totally underachieving i have a college education i didnt totally finish i but jobs are hard to get these days and i need work but it makes me feel sick from all the things im being put through. I am requesting some serious advice. There are many thing ive left out but this is very long post and i tried to keep it in order.
Thankyou for any help!
November 9, 2018 at 1:36 pm #103534
Hi – I didn’t want to read this and not respond. I don’t have ADHD, but my husband does, and he has also struggled at work, so reading your post was like hearing a story from my husband.
There’s a lot going on here, but it sounds like now there is quite a bit of conflict at your work, regardless of who is “right” or “wrong”. Whether it’s right or wrong, you’re now in a position where your employer doesn’t feel like you’re performing up to their standards. Now that your employer feels that way, you basically have two choices. You can either:
A. Try to keep the job by dropping the arguments about if you were sleeping, wearing proper equipment, etc. This would mean being open to their feedback and asking yourself what they would have to gain by antagonizing a union employee for no reason. Clearly they must think there are some issues. Ask them what those issues are and how you can bring your performance back up to their standards. Get it in writing. Get clear performance goals. Then do your best to meet those goals, with no arguments or excuses. This might involve putting your pride and your desire to be “right” aside, and instead do what they need you to do as an employee.
B. Find another job that’s better suited to your skills.
There aren’t really many other options. You seem to be choosing to stay, but wanting them to admit that they are in the wrong, or change their expectations. Maybe that would be more fair, but there’s no point in staying and waiting for that, because it’s not going to happen. You’re in the position of needing to prove yourself. You can either do that with humility, if possible, or move on before you get fired.
I don’t mean for this to sound harsh, but I’ve seen my husband do the same things you’re doing (justifying behavior that’s been called out as inappropriate or unwanted by the employer, trying to change minds about his roles and responsibilities, doing jobs the way he wants to, not how the employer wants them done) and the unfortunate result has been that he lost his own business, and has been fired three times. The employer is going to win, because they have the power. You can either submit to it, or move on. There’s no third option where you assert dominance over the employer. They’ll just fire you.
Also, I have to say that whether you were sleeping or not, putting your head in your hands during a meeting doesn’t sound very respectful. If it’s hard for you to know what kind of behavior or mannerisms are appropriate at work, take responsibility to learn, instead of arguing. You’re in a vulnerable position, so it’s best to approach it with humility and a willingness to learn, instead of defensiveness or being stubborn.
I hope you’re able to rebuild a good working relationship, or find something else more suited to you. Just please don’t pursue the route of defending your behaviour, and expecting your employer to change their minds. It’s going to be an exercise in frustration for everyone.
November 11, 2018 at 11:30 pm #103579
I can relate. Just try not to argue and put one foot in front of the other. I’m in the same boat. My boss’ husband has ADHD and she hated him. She assumed everything is my fault if something goes wrong in the office. I avoid her at all costs, keep my mouth shut, and focus on my job. I will haul her butt into HR without a second thought and she knows it. This is a medical disability and being harassed in the workplace is illegal. We have to be extra careful to not give them anything to accuse us automatically because of our affliction. Hang in there. She automatically assumes it’s me and 3/4 of the time it’s not my error. If anyone in the office has issues, it’s her.
November 27, 2018 at 3:48 pm #104510
I was then brought to a meeting with three supervisors all saying im having issues with paying attention that i was caught sleeping with my hood up>>
I just want to begin by saying that your post was a bit upsetting for me — I’m glad you shared it. I’m in a similar situation. Actually, I got sacked the other day. It was a bizarre situation. The ADD was making it difficult for me to learn things. (I could have raised the issue, but it is a Japanese run company, and the type of industry where talking about ADHD, neuro-diversity or even learner diversity is not going to work.)
Basically, from day one it was very apparent that this job was not going to work, but I had to hold on, and it was killing me, so I kind of felt relieved when I was fired (even though it was the best paying job of my life.).
One thing I felt odd — the reason they fired me was incongruent with the reasons they should have. My guess is that they were looking for a reason to let me go, probably perceived me as incapable of learning, but had some line they felt they had to toe.
In my case, what happened is that they hired me as a manager. The training was poor — but even so, the ADHD was making learning even more difficult and it was frustrating other workers, who in turn were becoming hostile to me, and the hostility spread. I tried to tell my immediate boss’s that I was aware I had things I needed to work on, but that it was not the job of subordinates to mouth off at me with approval of the manager (a clear violation of the company’s policies.) In fact, I told the individuals who were mouthing off at me that I agreed with many of their opinions, but the issues were between me and my own boss and not for discussion on the floor during hours of operation — however, the immediate manager was encouraging the behavior. I sent three written complaints in two different languages discussing the problem and possible solutions — but they were ignored. Finally, there was a situation in which a frustrated worker began mouthing off at me in the middle of the day. I gave him verbal warning, then requested that the manager write him up and he refused. After he continued to badger me, I said in a loud voice that I agree with what he’s saying, but its against company policy to argue with workers or management on the floor of the shop, and this had to be taken into a meeting — and the general manager just stood in the corner smiling, at which point, I lost my temper. I wasn’t physically threatening or using foul or threatening language, but I was obviously worked up, and I told him in a loud voice to deal with the situation or I was going to complain to his boss, and he said, “go ahead…” So I called the VP and set up a meeting. During the meeting I had my wife come as an interpreter to make sure there was no possibility of miscommunication and described what happened — I took responsibility for the frustrations of the workers, but pointed out that they were still violating company policy and I also offered solutions which the VP agreed with. –He said that he would have a meeting to reprimand the employee and I suggested I should stay off the floor of the shop until after the meeting to avoid further tension. He said the meeting would be held that night.
To make a long story short, I received a call later in the afternoon to come back for a meeting, but the location was not at the shop, it was at the main HQ — a bad sign. When I went to his office (which is in the basement) he told me to wait upstairs, which I thought was strange, but thought maybe it was possible that we were going to drive over to the other place. At that point they formally greeted me and led me into their office and asked me if I raised my voice at the employee. I said that I had stated so repeatedly, in my complaint and in the meeting earlier that day, and did so after numerous attempts to dissipate the situation without support of the general manager. He actually looked surprised and claimed he “found it out by reviewing the CCTV footage.” I said to review the footage and he will see that I had made NUMEROUS attempts to speak to the employee calmly and he was following me around the shop and berating me and using insubordinate language, including “I don’t have to listen to your shit,” and I was not getting support from the manager. He then handed me the company “policy” and asked me to read it, which says that employees are to be dealt with in a calm voice, and stated that I violated the company policy and he had decided to dismiss me because they were not satisfied with my performance. At that point I was almost relieved and stated that I would accept termination due to failure to complete the 90 day trial, but stated that I would accept dismissal for not passing the trial period, but not misconduct, and he agreed. Unfortunately, I do not qualify for unemployment. I do have some possible job offers in the bag, but am sick and disgusted over the situation — the frustrated worker had a right to be frustrated, but at the same time, the management had no right to allow me to be bullied by staff in violation of their own policies.
Anyway, I feel your pain… 😮
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