How do I help
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Hey there!
Shutting down as you call it, is a very common behavior in kids and even adults with adhd. It sometimes helps if you present information in a different way and in small bits.
I have found affirmation of positive behavior to be a good way to present information. I don’t know how old your child is, but this works for all age categories. Like if you see your child do something positive in a social interaction, try to congratulate him for it at an appropriate time. That is a way to sort of present what you want to see from him in a way that makes him feel good and doesn’t upset him.
When trying to confront him, try to bring things up in small bits if possible and to keep the conversation simple and calm. If you bring up a whole bunch of things at once, he can be overwhelmed and that can make him shut down.
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Social skills lessons are pretty easy to add to the everyday, instead of calling them out in specific conversations. When watching tv or a movie together, talk about what the characters did and why. Talk about if it was a good idea or if there could have been a better way to handle it (say a character interrupts someone else’s conversation, for instance).
What was helpful for my son was social rules for the things he really struggled with, like taking turns choosing what they would play together. We gave him rules like, “When you have a friend over, they are your guest, and you always let guests choose the first activity.” He actually appreciated these rules (we gave 3 I think, spread out over time), because it kept him from getting into constant squabbles.
Role playing is also helpful:
Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
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