July 28, 2020 at 6:16 pm #180090
Sorry this is long…I am just a mess. I moved states a little over a year ago right after I graduated college. I am going to move into a coworker/close friend’s apt on Thursday from my current apt which I will not be allowed into as it’s turning into a dorm basically. The coworker/friend and I will share the rent. This is going to be at the same time an older coworker will be moving, and this older coworker will be helping us with my move. And I am kind of freaking out cause this process is going to show them basically how little I have been functioning this last year, and I am scared.
I was just at the end of May diagnosed with ADHD, and I honestly think severe ADHD symptoms have contributed to my ability to get myself together this last year. I don’t think it was just depression, because I would have so many moments I felt good about life and wanted to take control. But I never could. I don’t even have real dishes or cooking supplies anymore because I never got myself together in that kind of routine. I barely have anything in general because I struggled to maintain my apartment; like my focus is basically 0, and I would do just the minimum to survive each day. So, I don’t know how to explain that to them when they help me move that I barely have anything. My financial situation in general is just horrible in all sorts of ways, even though I make enough money. I don’t know even know if I have enough money the next days to get a non-driver’s license ID and pay for the “application” to move in my friend’s apt (payday is Friday). I lost my driver’s license some time ago, and I don’t have my current birth certificate needed to get a replacement one, because I sent it in as part of applying for my passport, which ended up having some issue to be addressed, but I never did. Both co-workers/friends don’t even know that the main reason I am moving in to the one’s apt instead of my own is that I am not in a state to acquire my own new one. The older co-worker is trying to help me acquire my own car but my financial situation is abysmal, and I don’t even know where my license is.
I am trying to actively get treatment and build life skills now because I know I can’t live like this. I am not saying I was just completely helpless this whole time, and I was often just immature. But, I really want to improve. But, I don’t even know how to answer when they realize how basically completely little I’ve been functioning, given it’s like the state of things for me is way beyond even immature young adult.
July 29, 2020 at 11:20 am #180224
You don’t owe them an explanation. Sure, they will probably ask why you don’t have things. You can sidestep by saying that you just didn’t want to fully set up house yet and were sticking to the minimum necessary or something like that.
As far as wanting to do better, seek treatment. Connect with a counselor or therapist. You want to take action, so now it’s time to start moving. And just set very, very small incremental goals. When you set expectations for yourself that are doable, the feeling of success with help tremendously to get you unstuck and moving forward.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach, Podcaster & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
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