Going Back to School

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    • #92025
      SierraW
      Participant

      I am going back to school as an adult. I am also going back after having 2 children and assuming all household responsibilities. Being a stay-at-home parent has not been a good fit for me and I feel that it has made my social anxiety MUCH worse. I got accommodations put into place and have done everything to make sure I am prepared (including finding all my classes and drawing myself a map to them). However, I am still freaking out with each day as school approaches. I am terrified that I will fail (I have had numerous bad experiences with school). I am also terrified about having my spouse resume responsibilities with the kids and house. I fear my spouse won’t be able to keep up (has a very demanding job) and that I will be juggling everything AND school. Relying on someone else for things makes managing a household even more difficult with my ADHD. If I don’t prepare mentally and plan every detail of my day I am bound to forget something (like a child). I have tried to express these fears to my spouse but mostly it comes out as a giant jumble of rambling anxiety so I don’t think the points are being made. I have been studying all summer to prepare for class but even that has been difficult to achieve. Anyway I guess I’m just looking for advice/similar experiences where adults with ADHD have gone back to school or found ways to articulate problems with their neurotypical spouse/partner.

      I have seriously considered dropping all of my classes at lease 100x in the last 2 weeks.

    • #92046
      JBoom
      Participant

      Let me kill the suspense, you will have failures big and small.

      I know it sounds cheesy, but failing a thousand times is better than never trying at all. Failure is how we learn best. You should hope to be lucky enough to fail so you can learn those lessons that only failure can bring.

    • #92206
      stewarln52284
      Participant

      Hi Sierra! I was pulled to read your posting and rereply because I too am returning to school. I’m 34, just diagnosed with combined type ADHD a year ago, and have finally found a medication regimen that is working pretty well. Although I do not have a spouse, I do have a ten year old with probable ADHD. I also have the support of my mother, who helps me more than anything really.

      I have similar fears, but there is one aspect I can comment on. It is scary leaving the role of stay at home mom and depending on others to do what you have done for years…even if it felt impossible.

      What I found was that it is still hard to let other’s help. As an adult woman with ADHD, you have probably learned a lot of things the hard way, especially if you weren’t diagnosed until later in life. However, it does take a village to raise a child they say. I think it takes an extended village to raise kids, take care of the housr and just survive with ADHD. As hard as it is, I felt leas guilty and anxious about leaving these taska to other people.

      Sounds like you have done everything you can to set yourself up for success at school. I would love to chat more of you wanted? Its nice to chat with a fellow member of the ADHD tribe 🙂

      Take care!
      Lindsay

      • #92220
        SierraW
        Participant

        @lindsay

        Wow thanks for your response. It really helped. It is nice to know I’m not alone! You are so right on about feelings of guilt and anxiety when delegating tasks.

        I would love to chat more.

        Thanks!

    • #92240
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      Terrified you’re going to fail is a big thing for those with ADHD and anxiety. You can totally do this though. What’s awesome is you’re taking the steps to really prepare. You are putting every effort and focus into succeeding. Those are great steps that put you ahead of the game.

      Create a schedule and routine so the days being different from what they used to be won’t be so jarring and you’ll get used to the new faster. ‘

      Here’s more on going back to school as an adult with ADHD:

      10 Back-to-School Tips for Grownups

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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