Friendship
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Hello,
I know big topic…
My story in short, I have been diagnosed with ADHD late in life at the age of 37 years old (I am 39 now). I am more in the impulsive/hyperactivity (Still!) side not so much issues with attention, I never had learning difficulties and that made the issue for the late diagnosis. Actually I am the opposite with learning.My main issues come with the impulsivity in relationships and friendships.
I have some close friends since high school but the new ones I make after a point find me:
Too intense, too hyperactive, not concrete texting, too much, too sensitiveI am really sensitive indeed and I do not take rejection really good. The moment I feel someone rejects me I push more to fix the situation if we have an argument they usually ask for space and then I push and try to make ammends.I do not take any medication. I tried Ritallin as soon as it wears off gives me more stress for some reason, while I see some difference with emotions when I take it, actually do not fix the problem just pause it for few hours. Vicious circle…
I have tried medication doesnt work, excersice, talk to other people, the more they reject me the more my head is stuck to fix. I overfocus on the problem and I feel sadness from the rejections. I know I can be too much but I mean no harm. They all describe me as the person with the warmenst heart, but this is not enough….
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Sounds like rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), common with ADHD.
Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism -
Hi have you ever tried natural supplements? There are many vitamins that help with ADHD symptoms. Fish oil, magnesium. There is a good book called finanlly focused, in which talks about which vitamins to take for certain symptoms. I am also very sensitive to medications & only take a very low dose of Wellbutrin & certain vitamins. I am also looking into a single vitamin that is suppose to be for ADHD only, so I can drop the Wellbutrin. There are alternatives to medications that can work it just takes some research & trial.
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Hi Amka,
I am 51 yo and have NO friends. I have work friends, friends from high school, but the only real friend I have is my boyfriend. I like you think I am a little overwhelming for neuro-typical people. I have a big heart, I am polite, I am hyper-active and tend to talk A LOT. I think I get on a lot of peoples nerves after they have been around me for a while. I pride myself on having what I call a sixth sense. I cal feel when there is tension. The only way I can describe it is there is “static” in the air. I do pretty much everything (that doesn’t interest my bf) by myself. I have learned to enjoy it, although I do end up talking to myself, which can be embarrassing when strangers notice. I’ve often wondered if I am really that difficult to be around and I just have to assume I am and that’s ok because I know I am a good person. I have a great sense of humor, I am a loving, caring person. To me that is all that matters. I understand the rejection issue you mentioned, and I think that may just be an over thinking, obsessing issue. I have to really work on this myself, but I feel like I have gotten better in recent years.
We sound a lot a like and I am sorry you are suffering. Might I suggest a journal to keep track of your actions and reactions for comparison after, let’s say, a month. It might help you condition your behavior, if that is what you are interested in doing.
Good luck to you in what ever avenue you choose to take.
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