Focus shot by the end of the day…effecting my marriage

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    • #107373

      Hi all
      New to the forum but not ADHD. Diagnosed in 1982 and living the dream ever since. I was ADHD but now I am pretty much just the inattentive type. However, the older I get it seems the worse it gets (lack of attention). Recently my wife has gotten upset with me because I come home from work and I am mentally shot. I am in a management position and I focus hard all day. By the end of the day 5pm or so my Vyvanse has worn off and I am fried. My wife is taking my inattention personally but really it is not about her. I am just a veg at that point and want to sit on my phone and unwind. I tend to hyper-focus on my phone and don’t hear anything going on around me. Anyone else like that?
      I need to figure out a new way of unwinding because my focus on the phone is ruining my marriage.
      Any suggestions? My Dr suggested a boost dose at 3pm but I’d really like to avoid that if possible. Any ideas from my fellow ADDers would be great!


    • #107432
      Penny Williams

      I don’t have suggestions of alternatives to being on your phone, but this article may help your wife understand why you check out after work:

      ADHD Fatigue Is a Real (Exhausting) Thing

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #107441

      I was diagnosed at 30 but didn’t start taking medication until I was 37. I have a wife and two small children. Management job required high amount of focus. I came home, sat on couch, and pulled out phone. I started taking a second dose of Vyvanse per my doctor’s recommendation. It helped tremendously. I think it saved my marriage. I was in the moment, I was engaged, and I was available for my wife and children. I was also available for my siblings, my nieces, my nephews, and my friends.

      Things got so good I tried to come off Vyvanse completely. I was not a fan of medication and would have preferred not take any. Under my doctor’s care, I slowly (about a year) reduced my Vyvanse intake by 75%. It was a mistake. I started having problems again. But my doctor would not just raise my dosage. She slowly raised my dosage but not to as high as it was. The point I am trying to make and what I learned is sometimes medication can be part of the solution.

      Maybe taking a job that is less demanding on your focus will help. Or maybe you can ask your doctor to prescribe two doses of Vyvanse that equals your current dose (i.e. take 50mg in the morning and 20mg early in the early afternoon instead of just 70mg in the morning.). I tried this. it didn’t work for me.


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