May 22, 2019 at 12:46 am #117028
I’m feeling a serious amount of shame about my financial situation. I’ve been working so hard as a mom of two little ones, and am in a really good place in my career and relationship, but damn… I’ve become a master of ignoring my student loan and other scary bill envelopes and phone calls. It’s like I’ve reached my limit of what I can handle, and student loans just never made it to the top of my to do list. Basically I’ve procrastinated dealing with this money situation so long that it’s become a habit, and I’ve gotten myself into a situation where I don’t have many options… Wages garnished and everything. What hurts is I’ve been busting my ass in all other parts of my life and making real progress. I really messed up with this financial stuff and will be paying for it for a long time, which is fair, but I want to feel proud of where I’m at and what I’ve overcome and achieved, and instead I feel like the biggest idiot. I can’t believe I let things get to this point with my unpaid bills. Not even sure what I’m asking…I guess I’m wondering if there’s anyone else out there suffering major financial burdens due in part to ADHD symptoms. Would be nice not to feel alone.
May 22, 2019 at 1:39 pm #117058
Yes. Add credit cards, business owner, payroll expenses, etc. My inability to send clients invoices, delegate tasks, and address problems is tanking my successful business. You are not alone. The consequences are harsh.
May 23, 2019 at 11:47 am #117079
I hear you and I have really tried hard to get a system in place that works for me but I still seriously struggle with it. I cried the last time I went into a store because it is such an ordeal of decision making, trying not to buy compulsively, figuring out what I really need, etc. Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover was life altering for me. I definitely recommend it and it helped me pay down thousands in debt. I just thought I would have mastered it by now and get very discouraged with my continual financial missteps. It is also very annoying to have to STILL pay for mistakes you made with money years prior. I will tell you that miracles have happened financially for me as I have stepped forward little by little. God will help you on your way and you will be able to see Him in your life like never before, so that is a plus. The love you give in your relationships is what’s most important, so be proud of that! Money stuff is extremely difficult with ADHD. Just take it a step at a time and celebrate even tiny victories. Know that I am struggling along with you and I appreciate knowing I am not alone, too. We financial losers will prevail one day at a time 🙂 I hope. God bless. Wish we could all get a debt reset button.
May 24, 2019 at 9:02 am #117043
I have made mistakes, but not ones that were not recoverable.
Some things that have helped…
1 – I have a savings account that is really hard to access (internet only, no card, I have to request a transfer or check be sent to access the money) that auto-deducts from my daily use account. Prevents impulsivity from emptying the account.
2 – Mint or another financial program that allows you to sync all of your financial transactions and review your spending habits in a nice hard to argue chart.
3 – Accountability to someone else. There is a sense of shame, but a quarterly check-in to someone else forces you to address issues before the issues address you.
The longest journey starts with one step.
Take a step.
May 24, 2019 at 9:19 am #117150
Another idea is to set up autopay for all the bills that are the same every month. This is a tremendous help. And look into credit counseling. There are agencies that will negotiate with creditors and help you make a plan to repair your credit.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
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