Feeling frustrated and discouraged

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    • #103732
      jwosh01
      Participant

      I was recently fired from my job. It hurts. It hurts a lot. I have four young kids and I was the only income earner. While this is the first time I have been fired, I have had a pattern of job popping and not staying in one position for too long. Now, a resume that I was once proud of, I fear I won’t be able to get or keep another job. Has anyone else had these feelings? Searching for the right Job and now career for myself. I welcome all thoughts.

    • #103754
      kbj2017
      Participant

      Hey @jwosh01, I’m Kendall, nice to meet you!

      I can’t relate from life experience, but yes I have had those same feelings. The reality of uncertainty and internal instability is absolutely terrifying for me. It still is because I’m 19 years old on my own in college and have no concrete idea where to begin on my career path. It sends me into a state of paralysis sometimes because I’m overwhelmed by all the possibilities, along with the crippling fear of failure and disappointment. It feels suffocating because I always have assignments to do for my classes (which is fine), but I have trouble prioritizing them and end up doing everything at once most times.

      This has gotten me in trouble, as I failed my first two semesters in school. I’m doing a lot better now grades wise, but I still have doubts as if I’m not doing all the right things to set myself up for my future career (I want to go into Psychology).

      I will say this, while I am stifled/hindered by these fears, doubts, and insecurities, I take solace and refuge in the fact that while uncertainty is intimidating on the surface, it’s also liberating. I have control of my own destiny but only because I haven’t got started yet lol I’m still young. However, you also now have control of your own destiny. I’m sure you and your family knows you put everything you had into the job you had, and you’ll do the same with the job you get in the future. You can do anything, as long as you and your family knows that you won’t stop working to make sure that you all live the best lives you can. Yes, it’s scary, but what I would imagine is even scarier, is seeing your children feel hurt, sad, and disappointed themselves because their father feels the exact same way about his situation.

      I would imagine your kids only want to see you happy, and enjoying your life going after what you want (career-wise and in general). It’ll be challenging for you yes, but don’t let your fears stop you from working on picking yourself back up. You have 4 children to look after & take care of, but you also have 4 children who believe in you as their father as well. Let your 4 children be motivators for you to outweigh your fears and keep working toward finding a new job or career. Usually, as one door closes, another one opens. You’ll find what you’re looking for. Just keep going.

      Hopefully this helps,
      -Kendall Boults Jr.

      • #103761
        jwosh01
        Participant

        Dear Kendall,

        You are incredibly mature for a 19-year-old! Thank you so much for your kind words. Sometimes it is easier to give advice than to receive it. Ironically, I have worked in Higher Education for over 15 years. I wish I knew and was diagnosed with ADD much earlier, as I think I would have done better in school.

        Having said that, I can safely say that it is OK to not know what you want to do for a career at this stage of your life. Most people change careers three times and the average number of jobs is eight! I recommend checking it these assessments as you may find them helpful. you can take your pick from the many on these two websites. Lots to play around with and maybe some that will lead you in the right direction: you can take your pick from the many on these two websites. Lots to play around with and maybe some that will lead you in the right direction:
        https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/best-free-career-assessment-tools
        https://www.thebalancecareers.com/free-career-aptitude-tests-2059813

        Also, if you have not already done so, I recommend reading the book What Color Is Your Parachute? 2018: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers. https://www.amazon.com/What-Color-Your-Parachute-2018/dp/039957963X

        Connect with as many resources on campus as you can. As my brother tells me, you just have to work out work everyone else! See, I need to listen to my own advice LOL.

    • #103756
      cohrac
      Participant

      Hey what’s up @jwosh01
      Keep your head up, my friend. What you’re experiencing is indeed hard, and it was good to reach out, we all need support at times, it’s how we were made.

      I can completely relate to the extended resume and being what I call a “collector of skills.”

      While it does indeed make it difficult to acquire jobs at times, it’s not impossible.
      Focus on your strengths and what it is you bring to the table.

      Also, don’t be too proud to ask for help. Assuming you are in the US, there are resources via government or private sources that are there to help people in your situation. It’s ok to utilize them.

      All in all, you got this. Keep moving forward, provide for your little ones, and let situations like this build and grow your character. There is always hope.

      God bless you,
      Chase

      • #103762
        jwosh01
        Participant

        Thank you, Chase! God Bless you as well 🙂

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