Feeling free for the first time!

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    • #193811
      hart0201
      Participant

      I’m 51 and just diagnosed with ADHD and I feel free for the first time in my life! I’ve always felt weird – why did my brain have to go at a million miles an hour, why do I interrupt people all the time, why can’t I organise myself even though I’m an adult, why can I never relax, etc? I was miserable and thought I was going mad. Now, everything makes sense as to why I’m the way I am, and I feel liberated in a strange way – has anyone else felt this way?

    • #193849
      Hannemor
      Participant

      Hi, good for you to finally get an answer to all your questions. I am 52 and got diagnosed at 48. I felt immense relief! To finally get an answer to why I always felt different and struggled all my life. Somehow, I also felt that all the bullying I was put through, lost some of its power over me, because now I know the tryth about why I am the way I am. But…I still struggle with all the frustrations ADHD brings with it, but I know why, and it is a little bit easier to accept…
      Hold on to that freedom and when life gives you a hard time, remind yourself of it. Good luck on your new journey!

    • #194367
      pax
      Participant

      I’ve just been diagnosed at 55. I’m not feeling the freedom or relief yet. If anything I feel severely limited now. Before, there was a sense that I could do things better. Now, I feel like could never have done things better. I feel the emotional weight of a lifetime of wasted struggle and self-loathing.

      We have only one run at this life, and I find most of it was pretty much wasted in a futile struggle against self and the world.

      Bit depressed to be honest. I have been depressed for a long long time though.

      Maybe with time, and if my psychiatrist ever finally writes the Ritalin script he said he would, I might get some hope. But right now, just feeling bitter and disappointed with everything.

    • #194404
      Hannemor
      Participant

      Pax
      Me too…I got diagnosed around 4 years ago, and spent 3 years working through the grief and hurt, sorrow, shame, selfhatred, missed opportunities, confusions, anger and all the emotions in the world.
      Now, I have finally landed.
      Give yourself time.
      Make a descision to be Kind to yourself
      And Merciful and forgiving
      Show yourself compassion and understanding
      Try to let go of what other people imprinted on you and told you, listen to your own inner voice telling you that you actually tried your best
      And then look to the future…and try to make up your mind to be the best version of yourself…for your own sake, not others!
      ADHD, unfortunatly, doesnt go away, it is a lifetime struggle, but you can find gems too, just hang in there, there will be light in the tunnel!
      Meds dont help me much, but Elvanse help a little bit, I sort of wake up. But when it helps a little bit, the other problems are easier to manage…
      I wish I could work part time, that would help allot! Just need to win the lottery, lol!
      All the best wishes to you finding your way.

    • #194513
      pax
      Participant

      Thanks Hannemor. I happy you are doing well now.

      I have no doubt I am not alone in my feelings and experiences. But I am also alone in my feelings and experiences. In the sense that I am completely isolated now. We will see with time I guess. Apparently. I mean time hasn’t helped so far. Time has only ever made things worse. But we will see.

    • #194647
      Hannemor
      Participant

      Hi pax
      I am not doing fine, but I am doing a little better 🙂 Maybe in english term its; I am hanging in there…sometimes almost drowning but for me it has helped a bit with meds and acceptance, being good to myself.
      I was diagnosed with depression a few times before I finally demanded and got an adhd test. Oh, yeah, I know what you mean with all those waisted years…and now it is too late to start a new education, for example, wich is one of my regrets. But I also think I wasted time hating my past! Cause it only made me feel worse, so I started choosing to forgive my self, be nice to mye self, more patient…and I find it helps. But my adhd symptoms are the same, the struggles are the same, loosing things, breaking things, tripping, slipping, cutting myself when I make food, yep, its all still there…and will never go away. But I went through depression too, for years, before I landed and made up my mind to choose to accept myself and my f^≠>*g adhd! And I hope you get the help and support that fits you and your needs. It sounds a bit like you are in the spot I was two years ago…I chose to trest my depression first, and then try medication for adhd. Wellbutrin for my depression, kind of saved my life…and when my depression was a little better, I tried ritalin, then concerta and a few other adhd meds. And now I have Elvanse and it helps a little bit. I wish you the best for you!

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