Feel like I’m drowning (lockdown experience)

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    • #190438

      I recently move to a new state, new city, new job with my wife and in-laws. I’ve been very good with keeping myself coordinated. I’ve switched my diet, I’ve been positive, taken supplement, all until recently. I’m just drowning in my adhd and feel like this lockdown and new job is finally taking it’s toll on me. My gut originally told me “don’t take this job” I didn’t listen.

      Come to find out my insurance doesn’t cover my meds, it’s too expensive to get my vyvanse. With my job I was promised commisions, a mentor, training, I was supposed to go for ride alongs and have customer meetings. Nope…I am stuck at home , there’s no routine, surrounded by all my vices. Because we shut down as I started, I didn’t get training, I’m not making commissions,I’m literally left to fend for myself in a new program, in a new field I know nothing about. I have no friends or family to comfort me except my wife and she’s able to go to work half the time. I’m home alone with no one, except my racing adhd thoughts. My job is monotonous, as I have to make 100 phone calls a day. It’s the same thing over and over with no commissions to be made.

      I’ve just feel my symptoms have skyrocketed . My wife will tell me one thing and an hour later it’s gone. It’s madness because I’m confined to the walls of my home, alone. I have no motivation, I’m depressed, I can’t get my meds, I feel like my mind is wandering. I can’t focus on anything. I know my adhd is bad, but being isolated with no one, in a new state is seriously upsetting.

      I think I want to go back into teaching. At this point if I get a new insurance plan, I could be able to afford my meds. It would get me out, get me moving, I could Interact with people. I would be the leader of my classroom again. I’d let my employer down, but is my sanity worth it?
      I need my meds, it’s a complete day and night cycle for me. I could better my life and get ahead if I had them. Supplements, diet, etc isn’t enough.

    • #190566
      Penny Williams

      The discomfort and stress can negatively impact your cognitive functioning. Losing treatment surely isn’t helping either. You have to do what’s right for you — that very well could mean changing jobs.

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach, Podcaster & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #190596

      Do what is good for you. It may not be for others, but you do you.

    • #190620

      it’s a slow process. just keep going cuz strength grows in the moments when you think you cant go on but you keep going anyway. courage doesn’t always roar. it’s the quiet voice at the end of the day saying “tomorrow will be my day” try to enjoy every moment and you’re enough to make yourself happy. #staystrong #fightdepression #ADHD

    • #190640

      YeI know I need to do what’s best for me and my family. I ave other conditions that my drs only okayed vyvanse, so I can’t take Ritalin or something else affordable. I’m truthfully upset wiat shire. Why do I have to go change my job because they want $350 per month. You know how much money that is? I could go get a new 2021 Cadillac or Lexus with leather interior for that price. I could take a five day cruise every month. These companies can’t just keep doing this to us. I’m not rerouting my life because of their greed.

    • #190788

      Interesting thread.

    • #190957

      I read your posting on the 9th, I think, and I immediately wanted to write back. But I always write too much, and I owe an ADHD friend of mine in North Carolina a letter, so I’ll be shorter than usual/ I identify with you in so many ways. Vyvanse is also my preferred drug and it works wonderfully but is crazy expensive!

      I do this: type in ‘Vyvanse Coupon’ in your phone/laptop/whatever. You’ll immediately pull up sites where you can
      get a coupon for a significant amount off of Vyvanse- I believe the coupon for $60 is the best you can get. I think.
      Scan the coupon into your phone, unless you are really like me
      and keep a cheap flip phone w/out Internet, in which case you just run off the coupon on a printer, (even if you have to use one at FedEx, you can always find a printer, right)? Take it to your pharmacist and they can scan the coupon code into their computer, and you can get $60 off your Vyvanse for at least six months in a row. If you do this, I would go ahead and keep a copy of the coupon with you when you get your meds every month. Occasionally, I’ve had a situation where a pharmacist intern scanned and used the code, but forgot to enter it for me so I’d have it for the next five months also.

      I just re-started my Vyvanse-THANKS, UNIVERSE!-so I am back to the lowest dose-20 mg, even though I had been on the higher dose of 70 mg a few years ago. This coming month, my psych and I plan to up it to 30 mg, and I anticipate upping the dose to 50 mg a day before too many months go by.

      The reason I’m mentioning that is two-fold.
      (1):It doesn’t matter what dose you are taking, the coupon will cover $60 off the prescription if your insurance won’t cover it, and every monthly dose is super expensive…mine at only 20 mg was going to cost me $310, so I ended up paying $250. Still too much…and
      (2) You can then write to the Vyvanse people at the Shire Pharmaceutical Company. Explain to them that you’ve used their product, you really like it, it works great for you, but because of your moving, job situation, poor insurance, etc. there is no way you can afford to buy it, and would they please send a ‘Shires Cares’ card to you? You will need to have a note from your doctor/psychiatrist stating that yes, they want to prescribe Vyvanse for you, and some proof of your income. There are different ways, easy ways of “proving” your income-because I haven’t worked in three plus years, I simply have my boyfriend type up a paper for me that basically says, yes, I am low, low income, and he supports me.
      When I did this about a year ago, I got a plastic ‘Vyvanse Cares’ card in about a month-which I think, is worth a year of free Vyvanse-just show your card at the pharmacy every month when you pick up Vyvanse!
      As soon as I ZOOM with my psychiatrist on the 28th of this month, I’ll be doing the same to get my card. I do have an old ‘Shire Cares’ card in my wallet right now from over a year ago…but it’s proof they really work! This is my lovely new psychiatrist, so I need to ask her for her ‘letter of support’ so I can, again, get free Vyvanse.

      Oh…you can reach the right website for the Shire Cares card by just typing ‘Shire Cares’ into your phone/laptop!
      See, what I mean about me typing too much info?
      I’ll be thinking of you. My boyfriend works for CarMax. Also on the phone all day, also no commission, also now having to work from home because of Covid, also hates his job and never gets out anymore AT ALL,( because he kindly lets me go do all the shopping).. I would drown too, if I had to be home all day, every day. Even one day home ALL day can throw me for a loop.
      Best to you!!

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