Exhausted after interactions with people?

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    • #183999

      Are there more than me who get incredibly tired and exhausted after social interaction? It does not matter what we do, who this is, no matter how calm it is, I still get hyper when we meet but then immediately extremely exhausted afterwards. This exhaustion hangs in until at least the next day, the only way for me to solve it is to simply avoid it completely. When I am alone, I do not have these problems in regulating energy levels but in social settings like just for fun or work – it´s just impossible.

      Is this relatable to you? Did something help or do you also avoid social gatherings to feel more energized like me?

    • #184010
      Penny Williams

      Social fatigue is very real. People with social anxiety also struggle with it. Limiting the amount of time you spend at social gatherings can help. If you’re overwrought after 3 hours, only stay for 1-2 hours.

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach, Podcaster & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

      • #184116

        I prefer to interact with positive and happy people so I dont feel easily exhausted.

    • #187409

      I identify with these symptoms of introversion and over. I think I have an Auditory Processing Disorder on top of my ADHD.

    • #187637

      I cant give you the perspective of an adult but my son (13 yrs)certainly appears to have this. He doesnt have to be doing anything particularly exciting. Just being with other people and he throws everything he has at it. He talks excessively and gets easily excited and looks for stimulation in his interactions. Then afterwards he is exhausted. Sadly he cant then relax, his muscles are all fidgety and we often have to do things to help him relax e.g. weighted blanket. Not sure if this is what you are describing too?

    • #187791

      Some degree of social anxiety is definitely common, but if it’s extreme (needing to go somewhere silent & isolated after a one-on-one conversation with someone new), it could suggest some degree of autism. It might be worth consulting a psychiatrist. I know an autistic person who has successfully coped with extreme social anxiety through a combination of medication and therapy.

      For me, it’s a combination of noise and crowds, and COVID-19 has made it that much worse. There are times (even pre-COVID) when I just have to get out of a loud, busy situation and de-stress. Ironically, substituting my own loud sound (classical music on full blast) often works best.

    • #188734

      I have the same. It’s a strange way to feel…Sometimes Introvert… Sometimes Extrovert. What I would do for a live concert right now surrounded by people, but right now I also feel the most stable and calm than I’ve ever had in my life now that I’ve been working from home and social distancing.

      I do believe that being in social situations requires me to ‘hype up’ and go at it with everything I got. Smiling, laughing, and trying to have witty things to say. I think it’s a rush because it’s a challenge I’ve learned to ‘ace’ after a childhood of awkwardness… and then afterward I’m exhausted. Then I don’t want to see anyone for weeks till I’m rested. Definitely makes it hard to maintain a middle road. In my 20’s I really pushed myself hard to make up for my social inadequacies. People expected me to be engaged at all times and I really didn’t take care of myself by listening to my energy levels by trying to keep it up. I knew that once I was out I would ‘have fun’ and my energy would return. Now I know it was definitely the dopamine.

    • #189030

      Yes, it is normal to be exhausted after interactions with people. We as living people give and receive energy from each other, and when many of us get together there is an overload of energy that we can receive. Once we “unplug” from the social setting we were in we crash and lose all of the extra energy we were receiving and thus exhausting us.

    • #189111

      To echo an earlier post, Autism or Asperger will deliver exhaustion in social settings. I read they are “often” comorbid. Worth checking out.

    • #189080
      Dr. Eric

      I like to compare this to running a marathon at a sprinter’s pace because of the extra effort it takes us.

    • #190161
      Paola V

      The same happens to me after social interaction with a large number of people in the same room. I avoid social interaction as much as I can. But it isn’t something you can easily avoid if you’re working or following a training. I remember being back home from my professional training and not being able to sit or lay down for a few minutes because of how extremely hard was for me to stand up again… I love learning but I’ve always be very autodidact so online learning or with teach yourself methods works best for me (of course just for things I’m passionate about). I want to get the needed experience and skills to be able to work from home in the future.

    • #190191

      I try to avoid socializing as much as possible, esp avoiding Relatives (they’re the worst) & once Religious Services is ovr, I try 2 find space away frm anybdy else aftrwrds.. hard 2 do whn married tho… But yeah, I can relate.

    • #190204

      I only become exhausted around select people, in certain situations, and/or in specific environments. The biggest energy-sucker for me is a large gathering with friends, family, or colleagues; even if I am having a good time, being around so many different personalities and having multiple conversations going starts to grate at my nerves until I’m so tired all I want to do is lay down on the nearest semi-comfortable surface (even the floor).

      • This reply was modified 9 months, 3 weeks ago by Bee-lieve.
    • #190307

      I have ASD with sensory processing disorder in addition to my ADHD so I have always assumed my social fatigue derived from that and not the ADHD but I suppose it could be ADHD related as well. I do know that my social fatigue has less to do with the kind of people they are … i.e. happy/positive vs. self involved/selfish/negative … and more to do with the number of them and my relationship to them.

      When I am someplace with a lot of people, like a restaurant or a party, I can not really hear anything. Someone sitting right next to me could talk to me and it is only slightly easier to make out than the person across the room telling their kid to stop picking at their food. I hear everything at the same level and so its all just kind of overlaid into a buzzy painful mess. Sometimes it even interferes with my ability to hear my own thoughts. So any amount of time in that kind of environment is very tiring because I am spending so much time trying to make out what other people are doing/saying.

      The other issue for me relates to relationship with the person. I find strangers to be more tiring than people I know well. I think this is because I am spending a lot of my time trying to ‘act normal’ and hide my ASD, as well as figure out what the strangers mean when they say things or when they are being sarcastic or serious, etc. Someone I’m close to is less tiring because I already know their patterns and so I’m expending less energy trying to read them. People I ‘know’ but have not been around in a long time … like family that I see once a year … can be just as difficult and tiring as someone I have never met before. The one exception seems to be strangers who have similar patterns to people I already know. A stranger like this who is easy for me to understand/read can actually be exciting and I’m prone to interacting with them for hours without fatigue.

    • #190420

      I honestly feel you and I’m currently have friendship issues because I’m just too exhausted to keep the friendship showing with conversations

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