End of Life Planning

[Pump2Duncan]

So in the midst of IEPs, assessments, specialists and the fear of another diagnosis for my ADHD son, I’ve had a personal routine medical procedure turn into something a little scarier. And it got me thinking of what would happen if I wasn’t around for my son, especially if the assessments come back and he has ASD. To compound issues, I’m divorced and remarried and my son’s biological father is not involved but when he was involved he was in complete denial about any of our son’s issues and refused to participate in therapies and treatment plans.

While I’m here, the father’s non-involvement, denial and refusal are non-issues. My son has a terrific step-father and we are able to provide my son the therapies and supports he needs to succeed. And in our opinion, he has succeeded. But what happens if I’m not around? As any other divorced parent dealt with these types of issues?

I’m going in soon for a surgery and I find myself more worried about my son than I do myself.

[Penny Williams]

I’m sorry to hear about your medical problems!

I think every really involved parent worries about what would happen if tragedy struck and we were gone. I worry about it on occasion myself. I’d like to think others would step up and honor me by carrying on my approach, but I fear no one would advocate for my son like I do.

Maybe drafting an actual informal plan with your ex and others would be a good idea. It could put your mind at ease that at least everyone knows your wishes and has agreed to some of it. ???

Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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