November 9, 2020 at 9:34 pm #187498lynneihaParticipant
Okay, I’m exaggerating.
I have half a cerebellum.
If anyone else is obsessed with learning more about their ADHD brain, you may have come across fairly recent information which links ADHD with smaller cerebellums.
When I was eight years old, I was found to have an astrocytoma tumor in my cerebellum. A wonderful neurosurgeon performed brain surgery on me to remove the tumor, but in doing so, he had to remove half of my cerebellum also.
I have numerous deficits in motor skills, both gross and fine motor skills, along with a general lack of coordination and balance.
I always knew these things, but it wasn’t until many years later, that I realized I had severe ADHD, and that the tumor I had, along with the subsequent brain surgery, was very likely the cause, or at least a contributing cause, to my ADHD.
I have always been curious if there is anyone out there who has a similar problem. I have extreme problems in my executive functions. But because, in typical ADHD fashion, I’m great with things that interest me, I have two Master’s degrees, and 2/3 of another one. (In true ADHD impulsivity, I got angry with the university and told them to get lost before I finished my third Master’s degree.)
I have all this education. And no job.
Early in my self-diagnosis, I read Sari Solden’s book on ADHD in women. It made me cry at the realization that I was exactly like some of the women she described in her book. Several degrees because I am really good at learning…I never had to pay attention in school. Because I was a quiet, spacey “A” student, my teachers let me read through school, book propped up against the desk. Once in college, I just worked all night at projects other people got done in half the time. Going out with one of the graduate professors also helped with completing one of my Master’s.
(YES, that’s embarrassing to admit, but I’m pretty sure that’s how it was).
I have had a few excellent jobs/careers but impulsivity, lateness, emotional dysregulation would always trip me up at some point. I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone’s. It’s been SO interesting! But I wish like mad that I could work at something I love again…and possibly even make some money from it. I’m very grateful to know this group of people who struggle as I do/
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