April 15, 2019 at 5:30 pm #114081
Hello. I made a post on here a while ago, but it didn’t get very much attention. That was probably because it was very wordy and very specific, so I will try and rephrase my question in more general terms, with the hope that it isn’t too vague.
Do individuals with ADHD tend to run away from stressful situations? For example, would someone with ADHD be more likely to run away from a relationship that has become emotionally painful (not abusive in any way, just a relationship that has hit a rough patch) even if they really did not want to run away?
If so, how would the non-ADHD partner go about trying to comfort the other and reassure them that just because things are difficult now doesn’t mean that they will be difficult forever? Is there any point in doing so?
April 17, 2019 at 7:00 am #114234
Inquiring minds want to know as well. I’m definitely tend to avoid stressful situations and procrastinating is hand in hand with me.
It’s never my intention, either.
April 17, 2019 at 7:31 am #114236
Hmmm, maybe the fact that your original question did not get much response is because it is far too common for us to not want to face such a struggle. My wife knows I try to dodge stressful things and often try to deflect, redirect, or avoid a conversation or stressful situation. Sometimes it is ok and time heals things. Many times avoidance only causes pressure to build and compound the next situation.
I still hate to confront stressful situations and sometimes I need to be reminded that I am avoiding or trying to redirect. After years of practice, my strategy is to just face it when I can, step into it. Before that, I know I need to control my impulsivity. First and foremost, pause and breathe. I gather my thoughts which may seem like an eternity and many life situations do not make room for this (especially at work). I always set my first thought aside and work through a second or third thought that is almost always the better approach. I am slow to engage and work this cycle until resolution. You may be seen as slow or disengaged at first but it is ok to explain yourself that you need to gather your thoughts and you want things to come out right. If the opportunity is there, rehearse and plan your approach to the stressful situation. Write it out if you can. with ADHD, you need to gather and sort your thoughts or things can get worse before they get better. Practice, practice! And rather than being thought of as impulsive and rude or slow and disengaged, you will be considered a very thoughtful person and a person people stop to listen to.
This is all easier said than done but sometimes you just need to take a deep breath and walk into it!
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