Disgusted with Almost Everything!

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    • #99342
      mbullington2018
      Participant

      Right now, I’m 51 years old, have ADHD, between jobs and taking a semester break from my graduate school work.

      I’m overdue on plenty of bills and I’m extremely disgusted I cannot seem to find any work related to information technology, computer science, or teaching those topics. I’m also about out of ALL of my medications. I want to continue my research at graduate school because I’m 1-2 long semesters away from graduating with my PhD. Right now, I can’t get aid to continue without a cosigner because of my problems finding work.

      Because I’m so low on cash and so deep in bills, I’ve recently had to take a voucher for food. I have no health insurance because of the policy premiums being so expensive just for myself ($200/month). The last policy I had would NOT cover a sleep study I badly needed to replace my BIPAP machine which broke down and the sleep study group wanted $1000 up front which I did not have.

      My parents are about ready to just move me back home because “there are plenty of jobs there” while they believe “there are no jobs where I live”. They just want me to take just the clothes and what I can put in my car and their car/truck and leave the rest. They think I’m just sitting around doing nothing and believe I just need to go out and ask places if they are hiring and fill out applications. I AM NOT LAZY BUT I’VE TRIED THEIR WAYS IN THE PAST AND IT HAS NOT WORKED!!!!!!!

      Before I went on my break from graduate school, I went to see a counselor at the school’s counseling service. I personally feel he was no help at all as he wanted me to just move back home! His explanation was that I would have food and shelter! If he and I were on the Dr. Phil show, I would have beaten him to a “bloody pulp” because I am STILL so angry about his advice.

      My last job, a telephone answering agent for multiple clients, was nothing but burnout and disaster. Every day at that job, I feared I would have to sign a complaint sheet (yellow or white) because of somebody complaining and get no training other than a short lecture. Just about every day, I had to sign at least one of those sheets. My supervisors, although friendly, rarely covered my back when customers complained. Some of our clients were more of the “rip-off” variety and I and my fellow employees would get screamed at over the phone and treated as if we were directly ripping them off. Pardon my shouting, BUT, I DON’T WANT ANOTHER JOB LIKE THAT!

      My local state employment agency seems to just give me a list of who to contact for aid and NOT help me really find a job. There are people hiring with signs along the curb; I appear to be overqualified for them. I’ve tried going to private agencies; but, either they don’t have anything or the only job they have was at the place I was at AND DON’T WANT EVER AGAIN!

      Lately, every day has been nothing but “support victims” of some disaster and over-exaggeration of a disaster or commercials that I wish those advertisers WOULD JUST SHUT UP PERMANENTLY! I’m so frustrated! I feel as though everybody else matters and I don’t!

      I WANT TO WORK AND PAY MY BILLS AND GET BACK TO SCHOOL! I need my medications.

      I’m tired of just “moving on” and I DESPISE the “Serenity Prayer” in either its short or long form.

      There are times I would rather go to sleep and never wake up!

      WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE MY TURN FOR SUCCESS?!

    • #99344
      kakoepke
      Participant

      One of the worst things about having ADHD is the lack of understanding from others. No one can tell you what you should do. You are hitting dead-ends in achieving your long-term goals. This sounds really simple but start by rating your immediate problems. Do whatever you can to make #1 on that list happen. Usually the first thing will have impact on all the others. You may be disgusted by having to make compromises and taking detours on your long-term goals. If the compromises you make are a means to an end keep reminding yourself of that. Ex. taking a stressful job for a period to help pay for medication, consolidate debt, and get rid of any unnecessary expenses. Remind yourself that you are doing this so that you can increase your ability to pay for school. This is just an example. Prioritize, make a clear goal, create a plan with a time frame, then set off in a directon. The hardest thing is achieving this on your own. Look for people that understand you and support you along the way. I really do wish you the best!

    • #99346
      AdderallPpaul
      Participant

      HI. I too have been struggling with having sustainable work and I too am in grad school for social work. (3 different programs over twenty years and 9 credits from an MSW, the other schools didn’t pan out…) I am 53, we could start a group!.. I ha I too am almost out of money…

      I would see about finding whatever resources are at your disposal. I get my meds off of Medicaid and I receave free student services. I am about get a job and an internship and graduate in May. Adderall and la small dose of Lexapro, exercise and mediation and protein diet works wonders. It’s never easy, don’t give up!

    • #99391
      Penny Williams
      Keymaster

      If you’re in the US, you should be able to get insurance coverage if you don’t have income.

      I agree with the post above, list the priorities and just focus on one thing at a time. If the #1 need is a job, block everything else out until you’re able to get work. Ask for and accept help too. Everyone needs a hand up on occasion.

      You’re 7 Steps Away From a Successful Job Search

      You’ve hit a super tough spot, but it won’t last forever.

      Penny
      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

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