Diagnosed at 57…was it worth it????

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This topic contains 11 replies, has 11 voices, and was last updated by  ladyalexah 2 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #122406

    Kayleighsgranny
    Participant

    At first, I thought yay, I finally know what’s wrong with me. Maybe…my life can actually get better…
    Ive read, researched so much. Im at 30mg a day, generic Ritalin.
    At first…wow thus medication makes a huge difference. I can focus at work. Everything i did seened more enjoyable. Even just taking a walk…U can be “out of my head”.
    Now….
    Yay…I can focus on making pizza and a register the rest of my life.
    Im alone. Poor,no car. Great family, friends…no way to do anything at all.
    Now…57..what good is it. Everything i read…is for people who still have years left for it to make a difference.
    Quickly falling back into. Im just plain stupid,worthless…pretty darn sure God hates me.

    Not finding any resources out there to help someone like me deal with it all.
    Feeling,more helpless then ever before.

  • #122429

    Dizzy
    Participant

    Kayleighsgranny, now that you are taking a medication, yes, life
    is different. But it sure as heck ain’t over.

    You say you’ve got “great family and friends”..well, that in and
    of itself is a blessing.

    You say there’s no way to do anything…well, what do you want to do?

    You’re obviously intelligent, so your not stupid (you know this) and
    no living human being is worthless. I’m not a religious person, but
    I don’t believe God hates anyone.

    FYI, I’m 60, and my ADHD is the least of my health issues. Wife and
    I barely get by on our SS (both disabled) but, I still enjoy the
    little things in life.

    Keep in mind that your attitude determines your altitude…

  • #122438

    alexgibson
    Participant

    Sounds like it was worth it, because you’re getting medication and it’s doing good things.

    But I can understand why with your new-found focus some of it is spent surveying what could have been, and you’re feeling frustrated.

    I think that’s a very reasonable emotion to feel, and acknowledge – just try to also look for the positives – 57 is nowhere near old enough to be writing off the decades you have still to enjoy, contribute and learn to live with the new normal.

    For a start, well done getting the diagnosis and can you tell me which meds you were diagnosed with please? I am 40 and looking at a 2 year + wait to get a diagnosis because although ADHD is daily hampering me setting up a small business, as an adult I am considered low priority 🙁 But I guess starting trying the meds at 42 or 43 will still be better than not! So you’ve reminded me to chase up a form I wasn’t sent to even get onto that waiting list…

    I doubt you will find any advice specifically tailored to your stage in life – there is little enough for adults of any age. Here is probably the best place, and other people here will empathise.

    Good luck with re-assessing your goals and priorities. Maybe draw up a big list of pros and cons and it’s OK to have negatives, but actively look for positives too. Even if your meds wiped out all ADHD symptoms overnight, it doesn’t give you superpowers to tackle every thing you ever struggled with, and you will still need to find motivation. If making new plans, what would a nice, solid, rest of 2019 look like without committing to wild projects to catch up for lost time? A bit of tidying and consolidation might help firm up your feeling of power to move forwards.

    If you’re Christian, Isaiah 53:4-12 was written centuries before, predicting the core message in Matthew 11:28 of the guy who always sought out the people struggling on the edges…

    • This reply was modified 3 months ago by  alexgibson.
  • #122455

    patricia.killeen
    Participant

    Hi there, I know how you feel. I was diagnosed last year at the age of 63. Previously my diagnosis was bipolar. Frankly I am still overwhelmed. Trying to reduce bipolar meds but basically I am still a mess!

  • #122515

    realchange
    Participant

    I have ADHD and I am 80. Go to Youtube and find DR Joe Dispenza. Read, watch “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself” and “Becomming Supernatural”.
    http://www.adhdsetfree.com

  • #122521

    LuannKelly1980
    Participant

    Hi, I was diagnosed at age 53, I’m now 57. I’m also disabled due to chronic fatigue syndrome. Here’s what you do…start a daily journal. Write how you feel, and what you are able to accomplish in a day. I found that I most successful when I limit myself to 3 or 4 goals per day. Such as clean the kitchen floor, call my mother in law, go grocery shopping, and train my dog to sit. It doesn’t sound like much, but when you look at 365 days a year times 4 things per day, you can accomplish huge things. To enlarge your life, think small actions
    .

  • #122522

    FlowerwithADHD
    Participant

    Hi I recently found out that I have ADD (ADHD Inattentive) on my own, and my psychologist confirmed that I do. And others told me that they already knew that and thought I knew too.

    Your question, is it worth it. Yes, the truth can set you free. It is worth knowing all those criticisms is not my truth of who I am. It was symptoms of my ADD. My life makes sense, past, present and changes the future in a different direction. Truth is worth it.

  • #122544

    Penny Williams
    Keymaster

    Many adults get a late in life diagnosis, but that doesn’t mean the diagnosis isn’t helpful. Treatment certainly is. Here’s one such story:

    “I Was a 45-Year-Old Woman! I Had My Own Business! I Could Not Have ADHD.”

    And ADDitude’s After Diagnosis Survivial Guide:

    Your After-Diagnosis Survival Guide

    It sounds like working with a therapist could be helpful. You could have depression as well, especially if you’re feeling this down. Reach out and get some help.

    Penny
    ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #122644

    Kayleighsgranny
    Participant

    Thank you, all of you. Im so glad i wrote this here.

    Tons of great thoughts and ideas.

    I too,had been diagnosed with bipolar. Now, finally. My dr. Knows… because of things i finally said…and my teaching/convincing him of my adhd.
    Now, its adhd and ptsd(caused 2 psychotic episodes).
    He is good,but cant rightly diagnosis without all the info… He already knew he had to be careful with treating the adhd.
    I finally realized i had gone too high for me on the me
    Generic Ritalin.
    Went down from 30ng per day,to 20.

    I feel better,its working well again. But, i sure need the ideas you gave…thank you.
    He is trying to get me in with a good therapist.She has a waiting list.

  • #122886

    Larr
    Participant

    I was diagnosed at 55, with a Bi-Polar II diagnosis at 60. I think I thought my world would “instantly” change…it certainly does not work that way. Since my diagnosis I have tried and failed at four or five medications. What I have realized is- it is better to know and make the effort. I am trying a new medication. I am reaching out to some old contacts for support- I will not give up! It would be nice if there were not so many challenges, but this is what I must deal with and I choose to meet the challenge…with some grumbling, some stumbling, some bumbling. I feel confident I will get through this as long as i do not give up. Family and friends are important in all this- they will support you if you make an honest effort. I think this is the only way this can work. Take care, Godspeed. Larr

  • #123060

    Brendan09
    Participant

    Its never too late. I was 37. I’ve had some of the best years of my life after my diagnosis and treatment with medication. I know my kids, friends, and family in ways I never imagined. However, I am not free of regret. I have bad days. I have many more good days.

  • #123284

    ladyalexah
    Participant

    I haven’t bothered getting diagnosed. I’m 65 and am so relieved to recognise that the cause of my lifetime struggles has been ADHD/ADD. The knowledge has been life changing. Now I know why my mother treated me as she did – because she suffered with ADHD too. It all makes sense now. My grandparents raised me because my mother couldn’t cope with me and so they just told me my mother had bad nerves. I was forgetful, self-absorbed, distracted, hyperactive, over-talkative, excitable, immature, impulsive, confused. The list is endless. These days I’ve learned how to control my behaviour to an extent. I have Tourette’s (twitching and throat noises) which I control. I have scars both physical and mental from impulsive behaviour such as accidentally burning myself as a young girl. I have poor self-esteem. I was bullied at school by pupils but mostly by teachers. I forgot my notebook so the teacher tied it to my body with string. I forgot my school hat so the teacher made me wear a brown paper bag on my head! My hyperactive mind made me read too fast so I received corporal punishment. A few upsetting things happened to me in my early teens. My vulnerability could have ruined my life. But by the age of 22 I was a fully qualified teacher and then gained a 1st class BA (hons) Degree 2:1 in Computer Science. Did I let ADHD ruin my life? No I did not because I didn’t know I had it. I’ve always been a fighter and I went on to teach in Qatar, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Spain. Why? Probably because I was trying to run away from myself. But here I am now, retired after a successful teaching career. Now I finally have some peace of mind. My son has inherited some aspects of Autism from me and my late partner but we work on solutions together. Understanding and recognising it has been life changing. My son won’t get professional help and he needs it.
    As for me, I’ve finally grown to like myself and accept myself. I’m still not brilliant socially but like many people on the spectrum, my love of animals and especially my 4 dogs compensates for the lack of family. I have a few friends but have to work hard at it. I love reading about ADD on this site. I’m British and I haven’t found anything as good as this in the UK.

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