Diagnosed at 48, still skeptical but Totally identify with RSD

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Women & Girls Diagnosed at 48, still skeptical but Totally identify with RSD

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    • #105832

      I’m a mother of three (12,15,16) married for 25 years, definite mental health history in maternal family! After my second child, I was diagnosed with depression. I know I’ve had depression all my life but due to uneducated rural Midwestern parents I was never brought to a doctor. I’ve been trying to “work on myself” for the last year. My first issue was dealing with being consistently tired, felt drugged some afternoons and could literally fall asleep at my desk. Trying to eat Keto has helped. Also the fights with my husband were wearing me out! I’d had more and more “down days” and was starting to feel “crazy” after fights. Couldn’t remember why I got so mad, couldn’t even think straight so I sought out therapy. Adjusted my depression medication to Pristiq. We’re tired of the same progression of heated arguments, we both started threatening Divorce. Deep down, I know we love each other and want the same things but I just can’t handle a discussion with him. I’m extremely defensive and go “zero to 60” whenever he tries to discuss anything. He’s very direct and has no problems with conflicting discussions. I’m very conflict adverse.
      After the 2nd appointment, the counselor suggested I might have ADHD. Extremely surprised because all I knew of that was “hyper boys that couldn’t sit still in grade school” However, I’ve been finding it extremely hard to focus at work (FT job) and home. In fact my husband my husband even made “squirrel” comments a few times. After a bit I decided to try medication. I’m still unsure so I keep reading/listening to podcasts, etc. I’m an amazing researcher when interested in a topic. Anyway, I wouldn’t say I feel more focused but I do feel like I’m getting things done. And wonderfully I’m not falling asleep anytime of the day!

      So in my research I found a talk by Dr Quinn and another by Dr Dobson and totally resonated with RSD! My heated arguments have me so upset some nights, it takes me hours or even days to stop dwelling on comments made by my husband. Unfortunately most of these “fights” are in the late evening. He can easily go to bed after and I’ll sit on the couch sobbing uncontrollably to myself. Crazy thoughts running through my head. “I can’t go on like this” “maybe I should just die” “i can’t leave my kids” “please God is there a drug I can take that would remove all my feelings” I don’t know what to do!

      is this RSD? What do I do from here? There has got to be a better way to live! Anytime my husband opens his mouth I take great personal offense.

    • #105863
      Penny Williams

      Sounds like it could be. Living with RSD is tough. In this article by Dr. Dodson, he mentions a treatment option he’s had some success with for RSD.

      How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #136524

      I definitely have RSD and your story about your fights with your husband almost exactly mirror mine. K get so upset, rageful and non stop hysterical that it scares me. My doctor prescribed Guanfacine for this but it didn’t work for me at all. Made me more irritable and nervous. Now she is suggesting Pristiq. Did you have luck with that? I need the stimulants for focus but my anxiety and mood issues are a huge factor for me as well and the stimulants tend to heighten the anxiety. :(. Let me know if you find something that works for you!

    • #143638

      Wow! sorry it took so long for me to respond. I’ve been on pristiq for a couple years, I don’t think it helps the emotional part at all. Although I did just listen to a great talk on ADHD Medication for Women by Carolyn Parcells, M.D, on the ADHD Women’s Palooza webinars. There was something she recommended that I want to find out more about. Hopefully she has something written up somewhere or I may just have to purchase the webinar.

      Please let me know if you ever get any releif.

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