Tagged: parents moms
February 10, 2020 at 9:51 am #141508
I’m a single mom with ADD. I have realized recently that one of my main problems as a mom is having constant interruptions, questions, needs and demands from my 4 year old. For instance, just getting us out the door every morning or when we go to activities is hard enough. Doing it while being constantly interrupted by daughter and/or having to ask her over and over to get dressed etc while at the same time remembering what I was supposed to be doing is just so overwhelming. I often end up so frustrated and angry, and it’s not nice for either of us. On weekends when we’re together all day, I also find myself overwhelmed by not really having any breaks, my lovely child is just being a normal 4-year old. But her asking me for things over and over, constantly talking, interrupting me because she wants me to watch her do things and always wanting to be with me, play with me, have me read to her etc is just overload. I love doing things with her and we have lots of fun times, but when I need a break there is noone else around to take over and so I end up overwhelmed and exhausted all the time. Finding babysitters is not really an option very often, so there are few breaks. Any ideas on how to deal with better with this?
February 10, 2020 at 10:18 am #141518
I feel your pain! The following is what worked for me for my 4 kids (they weren’t young all at once, but each was 7-8 years apart):
During the weekends, have 1-2 hours for play scheduled with her where she gets to interact with you however she chooses, but then follow it with a 15 or 30 minute “rest break”. She can read quietly in the same room, or color, or even nap, but it’s a “rest break” where you’re relaxing and thinking your own thoughts and everyone has to be quiet like you’re in the library. Turn on a special lamp or do something to signify a quieter environment at that time. When that’s over, she can go back to interacting with you, followed by another “rest break” later. Play dates also might work – it wears out some of the kids’ energy to be able to chat with each other, although she might not have met a lot of friends her own age until she’s in kindergarten and first grade. Sign her up for a program at the local library – they can do a craft or story, and you can just sit in the other section and read or enjoy quiet time. Go for a walk and let her explore the outside with you – sometimes sensory overload is lessened in a large space such as the outdoors.
During the week, have as much of your stuff packed up the night before and a list for yourself so you don’t have to think about it as much. I’m not as organized during the week with this stuff as I am on the weekends, so hopefully others will have good advice for you.
February 10, 2020 at 1:43 pm #141587
Often it helps the morning chaos if you get ready together. Get dressed together, brush your teeth together, eat breakfast together, prepare breakfast together, etc… When she is constantly engaged, she will not need to ask so many questions, and the chaos you feel will be lessened because there’s only one thing going on at a time.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Coach & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
February 12, 2020 at 2:29 pm #141854
Wow! That is one of my biggest struggles too! I will continue to read what others offered for advice.. may take awhile to get to all of them (in one sitting anyways) but I will “add to my list of to-do’s”! I wish I was joking about my list as it is never ending but seriously, I will!
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