April 4, 2019 at 3:24 pm #113272archs1862Participant
I’ve really loved movies all my life and I’ve ended up loving the writing aspect the most now. Yeah, I guess movies and their dialogue and screenwriting tends to hold my interest a lot and I end up thinking in that way a lot, and in turn it leaks into my life. I feel even when I’m in normal, every-day conversation my brain is always looking for a punchline or angle to add to a conversation or even a quote someone just accidentally said or a situation in a movie this reminds me of i know the quote for. It’s really fun, honestly, but obviously derails conversations and annoys people. I tend to miss what people are saying a lot cause I’m in my own world like that
April 5, 2019 at 11:27 am #113334RanmaParticipant
Not into movie writing but, I’m sooooo with you on the quotes and one liners, I’m always getting the (WTF are you talking about) look.
April 5, 2019 at 9:30 pm #113350RagingADHDParticipant
That’s part of what we do – making and recognizing patterns or connections that other people can’t see. And the thoughts pinging around randomly.
Just think, some people do all kinds of meditation or mental exercises, or take drugs to try to get to a state of free-association that comes to us naturally! It’s pretty cool.
But it can be a problem when you’re trying to have a straightforward conversation with people.
I’m really open about my diagnosis, so with friends & loved ones I can say, “Sorry, I was pinging” or “Sorry, squirrel! Can you go back to [whatever the last thing I remember]?”
With other people, I try to breathe and relax to minimize the blurting (trying *really hard* to focus, or not to blurt, just makes it worse). And if I am pinging inside my head, I’ll say, “I’m sorry, I’m not following you. Could we go over that again?”
Sometimes it helps to do ‘active listening” or if it’s appropriate to the situation, maintain physical contact with the person like a hand on their arm. (Obviously that’s not always okay, it depends on relationship and context).
Here’s a kicker: My husband is also ADHD and is super, super into animation. So he’s constantly quoting The Simpsons, Futurama, South Park, Bojack Horseman, etc, whenever we’re trying to have a laid-back conversation. Drives me nuts because I don’t know 99 percent of the references he’s making.
So then he freaking EXPLAINS THE ENTIRE EPISODE TO ME. Just stick a fork in my eye, please.
But I can get him back now. Because I’ve gotten into Game of Thrones and he isn’t. So now I get to do the whole “explain the entire backstory so you get the significance of the quote” back to him.
April 5, 2019 at 11:12 pm #113357RanmaParticipant
Hahaha! nice, we have a new bookkeeper and I had to explain “buttons aren’t toys” and “I can’t do this without my third arm” one day (Hitch hikers guide to the galaxy, one of my favorite movies).
Ugh now you have me thinking of an episode of start trek next gen, where there was a race that only communicated in metaphors, which is fine if you know the history and context, like you and your husband and his animation quotes.
It would be interesting to try and communicate using only movie and television quotes.
April 9, 2019 at 12:01 pm #113344Dr. EricParticipant
Or singing the song or commercial jingle triggered by a certain word or phrase?
This gets worse with age because most folks don’t know commercial jingles from things before they were born, so they don’t get the reference.
April 9, 2019 at 4:42 pm #113655NikcococoParticipant
I guess it’s easier to have these kinds of conversations with friends who are artists, designers, music people or people who also tend to think randomly. Most of my friends also hop from one random thing to another every few minutes and we laugh a lot about random references. My culinary classmates have short attention spans and randomly burst out in 1 liners out of nowhere. They don’t have add or adhd but I feel that people in the creative fields generally think in a more abstract way.
Maybe it’s easier to adapt to different people gradually. Sometimes I would be a bit quiet around people I am not familiar with or those that seem super serious, then talk a bit more over time. Generally there will be people who like you for the quirky things you say and some who don’t, or people who like you because of your personality even though they don’t get your quotes etc.
Sometimes out missing out what people say may be due to being able to concentrating for short periods of time especially if there are other visual distractions or something. Not sure if you are looking for ways to concentrate on what people say, but listening to podcasts may help. My mind still wanders a lot but I can concentrate a bit longer each week, from 5-10 minutes to 15-20 minutes.
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