Constant blaming, zero responsibility and denial

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  GBH447 1 week, 2 days ago.

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  • #144568

    Sun20
    Participant

    My husband at least has ADHD and probably ODD. I am having major problems with him and have got to the point where I’ve asked him to leave the house at the weekend. He won’t go and seems like he’s even in denial we agreed to get divorced. He is very controlling and literally blames me for everything. Even things that are totally his responsibility. I suspect he might even be jealous of me. It’s a bit like living in the twilight zone with the amount of blaming and lack of accountability.

    ADHDers – what was the turning point for you that helped you to see what was happening and take responsibility?

  • #144654

    smkp76
    Participant

    Wow, sorry to hear your situation. I too am in a difficult marriage and I sympathize with you. Sorry I don’t have any advice but I wish you luck and sanity and strength through this situation

    • #144735

      Sun20
      Participant

      Thank you! You too! I am having a really hard time with it all. I never knew I could be so strong. It’s very challenging when you have a child together to know what to do for the best. Even though I love my husband at his core I feel like the trust is gone and I’m not sure I’ll ever really know him as such or if what I’m seeing is ‘the real him.’ It’s hard to have a true relationship when you’re not being met. I know things might be different however I don’t want to be someone’s carer or manager and have to push for psych appointments or for him to take medication etc. He resents me for it and I resent him for it. So hard!

  • #172158

    GBH447
    Participant

    The ADHD “support” industry de-emphasizes that the person with the condition ever take fully responsibility or ownership.

    You’re not going to change this guy. Staying with him just delays the inevitable. Walk away, and let him figure it out.

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