Consequences for Unsafe School Behavior

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    • #39536
      Anni @ ADDitude
      Keymaster

      This discussion was originally started by user Motherofkings in ADDitude’s now-retired community. The ADDitude editors have included it here to encourage more discussion.

      What is a good, consistent consequence for a kid who throws or kicks things, and is a safety threat at school to the point he needs to be removed? Do you have any ideas for stopping this behavior?

      One suggestion was to have him stay in the office at dismissal and then go to club from there. (Kind of like after-school detention.) What are your thoughts?

    • #41191
      Devon Frye
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user Bensonadvocates in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      Where are the positive reinforcements for good behavior? The negative never works. Look for positives to reward rather than punish. Ask the student what 3 of his favorite rewards are in school. Check out rewards that your classroom could earn.

    • #41196
      Devon Frye
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user brlk13 in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      Sending my son to spend time in the office, no matter the reason, was never productive for anyone. A better solution is to get to the root of the behavior — if it’s consistently happening, particularly around the same time every day, something is triggering it. Figure that out and find a solution for the trigger and the behavior will stop. If you have a student who has aggressive behavior as you’ve described that is an ongoing safety or class disruption issue then that child needs an IEP and an aide who can deal with the behavior until the cause and a solution can be found.

    • #41199
      Devon Frye
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user Motherofkings in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      I’m not asking for a positive when I say a good consequence. I am referring to something that would be a great resource to utilize. @bensonadvocates.

      He triggers himself because he struggles with expressing himself and becomes frustrated. We just started an IEP last week. So now we’re just trying to problem solve this behavior when it comes to the safety of others and himself now. @brlk13

    • #41203
      Devon Frye
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user brlk13 in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      I apologize, I guess I’m not explaining myself very well or I’m not understanding your situation correctly :/ My son used to have ongoing outbursts that disrupted the class. His actions were not dangerous but they did make it difficult to teach. I understand these kids “trigger” the behavior themselves because they get so frustrated or angry and can’t find the words so they act out instead. In my experience there are signs that an outburst is coming long before it escalates to out of control behavior. Complaints, hiding, refusal to do something, etc. Often I’ve found it’s the same assignment/request/peer/situation that often sets them off. For example, with my son it’s always been written work. Handwriting is hard for him and caused his anxiety to go thru the roof so being asked to write more than short phrase answers always set him off. Once we understood this, his teachers could prepare him, give him options to break down the writing into smaller tasks, etc and if they saw him starting to become agitated they could give him a break — either a quiet place he could go in the room to calm down like the reading corner or a desk set apart from the other students, or the aide could take him for a time out walk to help him calm down and express his fear/frustration before returning to class. It was when the teacher didn’t catch his anxiety level rising that the outburst would happen, and once he crossed that line he didn’t have the skills to control his emotions and bring himself back to a calm, productive place. Kids with ADHD, especially young ones, have poor impulse control. They don’t have coping skills to control those strong emotions until they are taught them. You can’t punish the outbursts out of them. Can’t punish them for something they can’t yet control. If they must be removed from the room, they need to be placed with someone — school counselor, aide, even the principal who can talk them thru the situation. Removing them and having them sit in the office as punishment with no redirection or discussion is not solving the problem.

    • #41226
      Devon Frye
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user adhdmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      It’s important not to punish behavior related to a disability. Sending him to sit in the office is punishment, not to mention shaming him, which is a very detrimental discipline tactic.

      Punishing a behavior he doesn’t have control of (poor frustration tolerance and lack of skills to manage frustration appropriately) can’t change the behavior. Working on the reasons behind the behavior (better frustration tolerance and better emotional reaction to frustration) can change the behavior. That is where the focus should be.

      Ideally, I’d like to see the school do a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) and formulate a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) from the results. The FBA will be a meeting facilitated by a Behavior Specialist and all teachers and administrators should be in attendance. The specialist will walk them through the behaviors and figuring out triggers and perceived benefits of each and then creating strategies to manage and change the behaviors. Those strategies go into the BIP and it’s implemented throughout school.

      It sounds like there may be some sensory sensitivity at play as well (https://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/793.html). If I read your note right, he’s struggling with behavior in the hallway after class is dismissed. That is a very overwhelming and anxiety-provoking experience for many kids, especially those with ADHD and SPD. My son has struggled with this in the past (his reaction was to make up any excuse necessary to avoid school). Once we realized the trigger, he was allowed to change classes separate from all the other students, if he needed to.

      And we worked on emotional awareness and control (including frustration) with a private Occupational Therapist and it was extremely helpful.

      Here’s some help with outbursts too: https://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/721.html.

      Penny
      ADDconnect Moderator, Author on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen boy with ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #41233
      Devon Frye
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user Motherofkings in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      I agree. I told the school that sending him to the office would be viewed as negative and I thought it would just escalate the situation. But I love all the feedback and input. I am going up to the school to discuss this with them.

      Thanks.

    • #41235
      Devon Frye
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user adhdmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      Let us know the outcome of your meeting with the school.

      Penny
      ADDconnect Moderator, Author on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen boy with ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #41237
      Devon Frye
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user spazzyjanet in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      I was asking a similar thing a while back after my child’s school decided after one incident that the solution was to have us come pick him up from school and after another incident invoke an “emergency removal” clause to tell us that he couldn’t come back the next day.

      I ended up having to negotiate some sort of “in-school” option into his BIP just as a defense against them doing this same thing repeatedly since the law allows them up to 10 days to do this without any type of due process.

      Although the plan was signed, we have not seen it in practice since virtually all classroom behavior issues stopped when we started medication with my son. I am glad, however, to have “insurance” for the future should the situation change or the medication need to be adjusted.

    • #41241
      Devon Frye
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user Motherofkings in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      So the IEP went into effect the beginning of this month. We worked a behavior plan in there as well. We set it up that be has a break card that he can show the teacher when he feels he needs a break, before specials (Art, Music, PE, Library) he goes to the resource teacher and comes up with a reward for that day to help him get through the special. So far I haven’t seen much progress yet but it is still the beginning. I have been working with him on coping skills and practicing them with him. Ex: calm breathing, muscle tension relaxation, and we have been role playing. I have him repeat everything back to me so I know he is getting it also. I even did it this morning in the car before he went to school. He called me at 11:30 AM to let me know he was using his coping skill and was doing good and I praised him and it was great. 1:44 PM came and he was struggling again and needed to be removed because he started to knock over the tables. (Sigh) I am so sad for my baby. I tried to encourage him to use his words and use “I” statements so the teacher and I can understand when he is upset, frustrated, sad, mad, scared but he was already at his limit and was not having it. It hurts my heart and the school calls me for EVERYTHING. (SIGH)

    • #41243
      Devon Frye
      Keymaster

      This reply was originally posted by user spazzyjanet in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

      How old is your son? He sounds so much like my son. We got a detailed behavior intervention plan so that the teacher used specific phrases and rewards and it did help.

      At least you have an IEP to support him. We were not able to get one because we began medicating and all of his behavior issues stopped. Additionally, all of his academics got a bump as well to the effect that the psychologist and teacher tell me that he is now acting effectively as a kid with no ADHD issues in the classroom when he is medicated.

      Did your son take an IQ test as part of his evaluation? I ask because frustrations with practice and drill assignments like handwriting are excruciating for gifted kids and especially gifted kids with ADHD. Since all of DS’s evals began after meds, my son’s IQ came back in the gifted range and this started to explain a lot of his behaviors as well.

    • #48978
      Jjherman
      Participant

      I would love to hear how your situation is now. I could cry listening to your story because it helped me realize my son is not the only one in the world thats like this. My son was diagnosed by a neuropsyc wwith GAC and ODD. She suggested counseling, getting my cchild out of the school district he’s in, no meds. He started his IEP in December. Late January/early Feb i suprised spent a day with him in school. Not good.Behaviors at home with sister/grandma have improved greatly, school behaviors have escalated. I have applied to a different school district, and we went to Dr to see about possible medicatons. He suggested Ablify at 1-2 milligram, but Im having a hard time wrapping putting my soon to be 8 year old on these drugs.

      • #49001
        Penny Williams
        Keymaster

        Abilify was the first medication recommended for ADHD treatment? That is not the standard of care. Abilify is a mood stabilizer. Stimulants like Ritalin, Concerta, Adderall, Vyvanse, etc are ADHD medications.
        Read about the different ADHD medications here: https://www.additudemag.com/category/explore-adhd-treatments/treatment-reviews/

        If you’re not working with an ADHD specialist for treatment, I highly recommend it.

        Penny
        ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #49032
      Jjherman
      Participant

      Sorry I think I posted to wrong area. My son is Anxiety and ODD. I think I dont have the right web site..thanks for the response tho.

      • #49203
        Penny Williams
        Keymaster

        Ah, that makes much more sense. Abilify is used to treat ODD. And you’re not in the wrong place, I just didn’t realize your child wasn’t being treated for ADHD when I responded. 🙂

        Penny
        ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #49244
      Jjherman
      Participant

      So my question is, why does he want to treat the ODD but not the anxiety. His outburst are 95% in school. I dont want to put him on meds everyday for something he needs 8 hours a day 5 days a week. This was a new Dr. As his old Dr. left abruptly. I didnt care for him so we are going to a new one in a couple of weeks. I just hoping for more info going in to that appointment. He bas been to counseling that has worked awesome at home. But school continues to be an issue, mostly because they dont know what they are doing, thats a whole other story.

      • #49329
        Penny Williams
        Keymaster

        Anxiety could actually be causing much of the behavior that has been labeled as ODD, like disruptive behavior.

        What Anxiety Disorders Look Like in Children

        I think you’re right to trust your intuition and see a new doctor if you don’t feel like you’re being heard. I’ve done it a couple times already for my son’s care.

        Penny
        ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #49613
      sandman2
      Participant

      If the anxiety disorder is happening mainly at school – then that probably is where the problem is. There is a good chance that he either has a learning disorder or something like ADD. That is what you want to treat – the cause of the anxiety.
      here is a good link on ADD –

      What Inattentive ADHD Looks Like In the (Not So) Wild

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