Confidence, low self esteem , splitting

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    • #106019
      Sam k


      I have very low self esteem, have always struggled with confidence. I think I experience splitting where I feel one minute I can do anything and literally minutes later I tell myself I can’t. I have been hiding away at home doing makeup work which involves very little contact with people, in fact it’s just 1-1 contact.
      In my head I love the idea of working for someone else and earning a full time salary but my mood, thoughts etc are so erratic I don’t think I would fit in.
      For a 40 year old I am emotionally and socially immature compared to other 40 year olds, I am too nice to everybody, I am also highly sensitive and In the past have clashes with colleagues, just generally I don’t fit in.
      I am currently on a waiting list and hope to get the right meds, I need to get out there and live my life.
      Does anyone else have his problem and does medication stabilise things ?

    • #106020
      Sam k

      I am afraid to do face to face/ frontline jobs, such as reception work, telesales. Job descriptions for higher paid work confuse and scare me. If I were to apply anywhere I would apply for work below my skill level, I have a degree in food science and could be earning a decent salary but I’m not.
      I’m so afraid of being Picked on, I don’t know if it’s paranoia or if I am genuinely pushed around by people. I have horrible social anxiety.
      I feel complete despair, I don’t have anyone with ADHD/ asd to talk to. Was placed on a very long waiting list 2 months ago, I don’t think I’m going to get help any time soon.

    • #106037
      Penny Williams

      Could be social anxiety. It can be quite debilitating. (I have it myself, so I know first-hand.)

      You’re Not Shy or Stuck Up. You Have Social Anxiety Disorder.

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #106039

      I am in my 30’s and also suffer from low self-esteem, I always have. I remember asking a guy out when I was 12 and him telling me no because I had low self-esteem, I didn’t even know what that meant. Anywho, I am also too nice to people, I have always thrived in service positions because I am too nice. That being said, I am a mom of 3 and the wife of a business owner so life is crazy all the time. Please know that you are not alone in how you are feeling. I wish I could offer advice but I am looking for advice too…just know that you are not alone.

    • #106068
      Ella C

      You poor thing! I have have similar struggles with self doubt.

      I remember getting my first real job. I had no idea how I would do it and I felt inferior and un-capable. Those first few weeks were hard for me due to me being so nervous, but I got the hang of it! I also was nervous about the social aspect of the job and being different and not fitting in. I kind of kept to myself for the first few months, but then I started testing the waters with socializing with my coworkers at work. I was surprised by how I was accepted despite my fears and differences.

      I have taken and SSRI in the past and it did help my social anxiety some, but for me personally the most helpful thing was pushing myself gradually out of my comfort zone (which I worked on with my therapist). I don’t take the SSRI anymore, but I do believe it gave me the boost I needed to start getting myself out there and to start making changes in my life.

      Do know that the right kind of people will love and accept you for who you are. They will grow to accept and love your quirks because they make you unique and who you are. And the people who don’t do this are not worth your time anyways. 🙂

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