July 8, 2019 at 4:37 pm #121986
I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD this year and of course I’ve been reading and finding out about it as much as I can.
I’ve told people I work with that I have ADHD, but I think someone else I work with also has it. I obviously wouldn’t want to diagnose someone else, but has anyone else noticed that now you know about ADHD that you can see similarities in others? The person I work with is constantly talking, she is never still, she interrupts all the time, in fact you can’t say one sentence to her without her interrupting you, and if she doesn’t interrupt it’s because she’s actually distracted with something else, she will then interrupt you to tell you she’s listening. The other day she mentioned about songs getting stuck in her head constantly on repeat, that she gets anxiety and she was bought something to fidget with when she’s sat down as it helps her concentrate. Sometimes I don’t understand stories she’s telling me as she starts talking as if I know the people she’s talking about, and also I don’t always get the point she’s trying to make. Ive also noticed how much she struggles with following tasks at work. Basically I can see a lot of myself in her, except I’ve learnt to manage interrupting and also my story telling.
The problem is I’m finding it really hard to work with her. I absolutely love her as a person, she is one of the kindest, sweetest people I know, but I’m finding working with her a strain. I’m wondering whether this has to do with what I’m seeing about her. It feels almost as if her style of working and how she has to do things is actually almost triggering me and I’m having to work much harder at trying to keep under control and less stressed. I think her way of stressing and flapping about certain tasks makes my ADHD worse.
Unfortunately because we work in a very small team and she is a supervisor there is no avoiding working with her, sometimes there are times when it’s just us together. I end up feeling very frustrated after my shift and need time to clear my head.
I’m not sure I’ve worked closely with other people with ADHD and was wondering whether anyone else had, and how you felt you coped? I’m shortly going to be attending a mindfulness group for others with ADHD, so it will be interesting to be in a room full of others who also have it.
July 10, 2019 at 1:22 pm #122104
Can you say something like, “Sorry, my brain can’t handle more than one thing at once. Can you let me finish this task first? Then I’d love to talk to you about [whatever].” Or, when she interrupts, “Can I just finish my point first? I don’t want to leave out anything important.”
Think about what bothers you most and how you might handle it. Write down possible responses and rehearse them. It might seem a bit artificial, but a simple “I’m sorry, I can’t” can help prevent your being sidetracked into unproductive conversations.
For some things, such as her ramblings about people you don’t even know, you can listen politely for a few seconds, say “Wow, that sounds weird/unfair/whatever,” then break eye contact and get back to work.
- This reply was modified 3 months, 1 week ago by LoriR.
July 19, 2019 at 5:13 pm #122772
Hi LoriR, thanks for the reply.
It’s honestly like she doesn’t even realise she’s interrupting. Even if you carry on talking, most people would realise then and stop talking but she just carries on. It’s as if her brain is on its own thing, or she sort of knows she’s interrupting because she sometimes apologises for it, but then does it repeatedly.
With her being my supervisor it’s sort of hard to say something. I’ve noticed that everyone else is a little uncomfortable with it too, she even talks over the top of our manager. I think everyone is just far too polite to say anything. Also, I feel even if you were to say you needed to finish your point, and I have been quite firm at times with carrying on what I’m saying to get my point across, she still carries on interrupting.
I guess it’s one of those things that I just have to put up with. I just find it a little hard at times.
July 16, 2019 at 12:51 am #122432
Sally B GoodParticipant
Home › Welcome to the ADDitude Forums › For Adults › Relationships › Colleague with possible ADHD
Hi, are these the characteristics of ADHD? “The person is constantly talking, she is never still, she interrupts all the time, in fact you can’t say one sentence to her without her interrupting you, and if she doesn’t interrupt it’s because she’s actually distracted with something else, she will then interrupt you to tell you she’s listening. … songs getting stuck in her head constantly on repeat, that she gets anxiety and she bought something to fidget to concentrate. Sometimes I don’t understand stories she’s telling me as she starts talking as if I know the people she’s talking about, and also I don’t always get the point she’s trying to make. … she struggles with following tasks at work. … interrupting and story telling.”
July 17, 2019 at 12:32 pm #122561
It may help to remember that your colleague didn’t suddenly change, you suddenly noticed, and now know that she can improve. I have gone through a similar cycle a few times, and remind myself that if I’m thinking like a hammer, all I will see are nails.
You mentioned this is a small team. Is it also a small company? Is there someone you can get advice from to minimize your interactions? If you have a HR person, talk to him or her about your supervisor’s work practices and how they are impacting you. Communication classes are highly recommended for all managers in my company.
July 19, 2019 at 5:21 pm #122778
This is how my colleague has always been but I was working for the business well before she started. She’s actually quite new to the business and came on as a supervisor. So she’s maybe only been with us a few months.
I work for a small company but within one of their stores so our team is quite small. It’s not possible to limit interactions with anyone, as we all have to work closely together in order to function.
She’s really lovely, I just think sometimes I find her a bit much and quite overwhelming. I suppose it depends what mood I’m in, and how able I am to cope with the intensity of her personality on top of trying to control my own 🙂
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